


Timeless

by PeppyBismilk



Series: Solution Selling [6]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: 2000s Era Pop Culture References, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Leoji is Endgame, M/M, Marijuana, Running, Slow Build, Teen Partying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:00:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 26,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22158976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeppyBismilk/pseuds/PeppyBismilk
Summary: Guang Hong and Leo were inseparable from the moment they met in high school. People always said they'd make the perfect couple, but that was just talk. All Guang Hong knew was that Leo was going to be in his life forever, and anyone else who wanted to be part of his life would just have to accept that.Or, Guang Hong and Leo are best friends and terrible boyfriends (at least for other people).Reposted. Part of myTech Sales AUbut stands alone, too.
Relationships: Leo de la Iglesia/Ji Guang-Hong
Series: Solution Selling [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1088568
Comments: 31
Kudos: 34





	1. [cross country] meet-cute only it's platonic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do you ever just meet someone and know you have to become friends?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After writing the first two chapters of Vintage, I decided to take a stab at an in-universe slow burn friends to lovers fic about Guang Hong and Leo. This is that fic.

Guang Hong was the smallest person in his seventh grade class. While everyone else was outgrowing their pants overnight, he was checking his height every day and coming up, well, short. 

There was no point in dwelling on it, just like he couldn’t change the freckles that dotted his cheeks, but why did everyone else feel the constant need to remind him of how small he was?

For example, the answer to, “When are tryouts for the cross country team?” should have been a time and a date, but of course, that wasn’t the answer Guang Hong got from his gym teacher.

“You’re on the short side for a runner, Ji,” she told him. “Why don’t you try gymnastics or wrestling?” 

Guang Hong didn’t ignore her advice—he turned it on its head and let it fuel his daily runs. And when he finally made the team in tenth grade, he didn’t even call Ms. Foster to rub it in her face. He did imagine calling her, but only for a second. 

It didn’t matter that he was the shortest member of the team (girls included), because he was one of the fastest.

What he lacked in height he made up for in discipline, energy, and enthusiasm. After his first couple of meets, he started to overhear other athletes and even their coaches saying things like, “Watch out for the little one. He comes out of nowhere at the end.” Those words stoked his pride and made his legs itch, pushing him all the way to a new school record.

He let that winning streak ride until his fifth meet. Some of the best athletes in the state crowded the starting line, including Leo de la Iglesia. James had told Guang Hong he was one to watch out for—they had competed in the 5K last year but James had come up short (and James had a full six inches on Guang Hong). “Leo’s like a machine,” James has reported.

He was right. Guang Hong pushed harder than ever before but Leo was every bit as unflappable as his reputation, calm and steady for the entire race. Even Guang Hong’s last burst of speed only got him second place.

He was more impressed than disappointed.

“Great race!” he said once he could catch his breath.

“You, too,” said Leo, who had barely broken a sweat. “Where did that sprint to the finish come from? That was cool.”

Guang Hong laughed. “I really wanted to beat you, but you were so consistent. You must train really hard!”

“I could say the same thing about you.” Leo smiled and held out his hand. “I’m Leo.”

“I know! My friend told me about you.” Guang Hong shook his hand. “I’m Guang Hong Ji.”

“My coach talked about you, too. He warned me about you, actually.”

Guang Hong grinned. That was his favorite thing to hear. “Well, I’ve got a warning for you: next time we race, I’m going to win.”

“I’ll be ready,” said Leo, tucking the locks of hair that had slipped from his ponytail behind his ears. There was determination behind his smile, but the competition was all friendly.

They walked together to get some water. “You’re a sophomore, right?” Leo asked.

“Yeah.”

“Is this your first year on the varsity team?”

Guang Hong shook his head. “I didn’t even make the team until this year.”

“Seriously?” Leo’s eyebrows shot up. “But you’re so good.”

“I’ve been running every day since I was 13.” It probably helped that he grew a little over the summer, too, but Guang Hong would never admit that.

“Wow,” said Leo. “Well, it really shows. You look like you’ve been doing this your whole life.”

“If you mean running around in circles, then yeah, I kind of have,” Guang Hong said with a grin, earning a laugh from Leo. Guang Hong was almost sad to abandon him to watch Yue’s last heat, but maybe he didn’t have to. “Hey, do you have another event or do you want to watch the girls’ long jump with me?”

“Sure,” said Leo with a shrug. “I only do cross country, anyway.”

“Me too. My cousin’s competing,” Guang Hong explained. They headed over to the stands.

“Fraternizing with the enemy?” joked James. He was just about to leave for his relay, but he and Leo greeted each other like old friends. Before he headed off, James added, “Don’t sleep on Guang Hong. He’s little but he’s wiley and he’ll sneak right up on you!”

Leo smiled at Guang Hong. “He’s a great runner, and I can’t wait to race him again.”

“Right back at you!” Guang Hong replied. James headed off and it was Yue’s turn. Joint meets like these were the best because Guang Hong got to support his friends and family every time. He cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted, “Go, Yue!”

Leo caught on right away and started cheering, too. Yue looked over and gave them both a thumbs up, then did her last jump.

“She’s good,” said Leo.

Guang Hong beamed. “First in the state last year! She’s going to Baylor next year on scholarship.”

“Wow.” Leo raised his eyebrows. His eyes got brighter when he was impressed.

Yue won her event. Her teammates clapped her on the back and hugged her, and when they were done, Guang Hong headed over.

“Congrats, Yue!” he exclaimed.

“Thanks! Hey, Nadia told me you came in second place. That’s awesome!” She ruffled his hair. Guang Hong hated when she did that but he kept smiling.

Leo was right behind him and Guang Hong took a step back. “This is Leo,” he said. With a laugh, he added, “He’s the one who beat me, actually.”

“Then you must be good! No one’s been able to touch Guang Hong this season. I’m Yue Fang.”

“Nice to meet you,” said Leo. “Is your whole family this athletic?”

Yue and Guang Hong laughed. “If my brother Keung had to run for his life, he would die,” Yue said.

Leo chuckled. “Well, seems like you got enough talent for the both of you. Guang Hong said you got recruited?”

“Oh!” She blushed and looked at Guang Hong. “Yeah, I did. I’m excited!”

“That’s really cool. Baylor’s a really good school for track,” said Leo.

“I can’t wait. I mean, it’s my dream to go to the Olympics, but just to compete at the collegiate level is going to be amazing.”

“I bet you’ll qualify,” Leo said. “You blew everyone else away today.”

They were talking closely now, and Guang Hong realized that they might want some space. “Well, I'm going to go watch the relay. Congratulations again, Yue. See you next time, Leo!”

Leo smiled in his direction. “Do you have Facebook or MySpace? Look me up, maybe we can go for a run sometime.”

“Sounds great! I will!” Guang Hong was always on the lookout for running buddies. Maybe if Leo and Yue started going out, they could keep in touch.

Guang Hong didn’t see Leo again that day until right before it was time to leave, but Leo caught his eye and waved. Guang Hong grinned and waved back before he got on the bus.  _ He's like the nicest guy I've ever met_, he thought. 

Yue slid into the seat next to him. “Oh my gosh, I owe you one for introducing me to Leo. I owe you a million. He’s so cool.”

Guang Hong smiled. Yue was one of the nicest people he knew, so it was no wonder she and Leo got along so well. “Isn’t he? I’m glad you guys hit it off.”

“I trust you,” said Yue. “If you like someone, they’re definitely a good person. Unlike certain brothers of mine.”

Guang Hong remembered her last boyfriend. Jake had been a friend of Keung’s and he had cheated on Yue. Guang Hong had only known Leo for a day, but he ran a fair race and, unlike most people, didn’t immediately comment on Guang Hong’s height upon meeting him.

“Well, you deserve a nice guy.”

“Maybe the three of us could go running together,” Yue said dreamily, off to the figurative races. “You know, make it casual. And then I can ask him to get coffee or something.” 

Guang Hong didn’t mind being an ice breaker for his cousin, but he hoped he’d get a chance to know Leo better (and not just through Yue). 

“And then when you get a boyfriend we can double date!” Yue finished, startling him. 

Guang Hong blushed. He had never even been on a date before and he wasn’t sure he was ready for that. Most of the time he didn’t even think about dating, but the older he got, the more his friends teased him about it. He usually made up some story about strict parents, but Yue knew that wasn’t true.

“Sounds fun,” Guang Hong said, not wanting to burst her bubble. He’d had crushes on guys before but he’d always been afraid to act on them. Plus, with running, schoolwork, and his friends, there was only so much time.

“There’s someone out there for you, I just know it,” she went on, stars in her eyes. “Maybe Leo has a friend!”

“I’m not really looking to date right now,” Guang Hong said. Yue was getting ahead of herself, as usual. “What I really want to do is start training for a marathon.”

“Wow, really?” Yue nodded and scrunched up her face in thought. “Your pacing’s great, but you need to work on your endurance.” Whether it was romance or running, Yue was always ten steps ahead, and she had a training plan for him by the time they got back to the school. He might not have been ready to date but he was always ready to run and Yue’s ideas had him pumped.

His parents had gone to his last three meets, so he didn’t mind that they had missed this one. They congratulated him and his dad even made his favorite glazed pork for dinner.

Guang Hong checked his MySpace after he finished eating and found Leo. He sent a friend request, and when he checked back after watching  _ Bones _ with his mom, Leo had accepted his request and added him on Facebook, too. Guang Hong added him back, smiling when he saw Leo had already added Yue. Guang Hong grinned and left a message on his wall.

_ Hey! It was awesome meeting you today! I won’t go so easy on you next time! _

He got a post back shortly after.

_ Nice to meet you, too. Looking forward to a rematch. :) _

Guang Hong couldn’t wait. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for taking this down last year. I was going to repost it for Guang Hong’s birthday but I lost my nerve again. I’ve been struggling with confidence, but I’m trying to turn over a new leaf in 2020. I’ll be reposting a few chapters a week to get caught up.


	2. friends first

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guang Hong and Leo's friendly rivalry gets friendlier.

Long before Guang Hong got his rematch, Yue and Leo started going out. Guang Hong was happy for them, even happier to reclaim the top of the podium at the next race, and happiest of all to call Leo his friend.

They sent texts and messages every few days and sent each other amusing websites. Leo was the only other person he knew who found Homestar Runner and YTMND as funny as he did.

They had even trained together a few times at the park with Yue, and it was always a fun way to spend the morning. Leo was usually listening to music on headphones so he didn’t talk much. He and Guang Hong ran faster than Yue, but she didn’t mind because she had a different training regimen.

Guang Hong ran better when he was with Leo. They ran at the same pace and pushed each other to work harder.

Today, they had met at the park without Yue. Leo always took out his earbuds for cool downs.

“How was your trig test?” Leo asked.

Guang Hong smiled. “I feel good about it! How was your French quiz?”

“ _J’ai eu un A_ ,” Leo replied. Guang Hong was always amazed by Leo’s language skills. Guang Hong was basically bilingual, but Leo was trilingual, and (if Guang Hong understood him correctly) well on his way to mastering French.

“Sweet! Oh, and how’s your grandma? Yue told me she was sick.”

“Doing better, thanks,” said Leo. "You remembered."

Guang Hong beamed up at him. "Of course I did!"

By the time they stopped at a water fountain, the conversation had shifted to the new trailer for the next  _ Harry Potter _ movie.

“I can’t wait to see how they show the Triwizard Tournament,” said Leo.

“Neither can I!” Guang Hong exclaimed. “Yue thinks the guy who plays Viktor Krum is super hot but I just don’t see it. Daniel Radcliffe’s more my type, and not just because us short guys have to stick together.”

Leo made a noise like he was listening but his eyes were far off.

“Sorry!” Guang Hong felt guilty for going on about Yue’s taste in guys. “I’m sure she thinks you’re way hotter than that actor.”

“No, you didn’t say anything wrong.” Leo sighed and slowed down to a walking pace. “Can I ask you something?”

Guang Hong had a feeling it was about Yue. He wasn't a relationship expert and he really didn’t want to choose sides, but he did like helping his friends. “Of course.”

“Do you think Yue wants to break up with me?”

“What?” Guang Hong gasped. He’d had no idea there was anything amiss between Leo and Yue. “She hasn’t said anything like that. She always sounds really happy with you.”

“Oh.” Leo sounded relieved, but his shoulders still sagged. “She just hasn’t called me much lately, and I know she gets kind of frustrated with me sometimes.”

Who could get frustrated with Leo? He was the easiest person in the world to get along with, and Guang Hong hated seeing him look so sad. It had to be a misunderstanding.

“I’m sure she’s just stressed out about school, you know, with all the senior year stress.” Along with being a top athlete, Yue was a top student, and she was nervous about college in the fall. “She can be intense when she gets focused.”

Leo nodded. “You’re right. She did have that huge report due, too. I’ll just try to be extra supportive.”

“I’m sure she’ll appreciate that!” Guang Hong said, sending him an encouraging smile. “Oh, and she loves frozen yogurt. That always cheers her up.” 

“Thanks, I’ll take her.” Leo smiled back, and even though his wasn’t as wide, it lifted Guang Hong's spirits. Leo twisted one of the earbuds that dangled from his shirt collar and added, “I hope it’s okay to talk about this stuff. I don’t want it to ever be weird between you guys because of me.”

“No way! It’s not like you said, ‘It’s her or me, pick a side!’” Guang Hong made his voice sound gruff—nothing like Leo—but he couldn't keep it up without snickering. The idea of Leo throwing down an ultimatum like that was ridiculous, and Leo's laugh was music to his ears. “I know Yue better than just about anyone, except maybe Keung.”

“And you're much easier to talk to,” said Leo. “Keung barely acknowledges me.”

“It’s not you. He’s like that with everyone,” Guang Hong explained. Keung only left his room to go to school (sometimes) and buy weed. Otherwise, he was playing _World of Warcraft_.

“That’s a relief.” Leo seemed more relaxed now, too. “I just don’t want to put you in an awkward position. And if I do, just tell me and I’ll back off. Family comes first.”

“Oh yeah, that reminds me, you are way overdue for that shovel talk.” But it was just another joke. Yue could crush men with her thighs and she didn’t take any crap. Guang Hong couldn’t imagine Leo deserving her wrath, anyway. He just wanted them to be happy together.

“Ready for another sprint?” Leo asked as they neared a trail marker.

“Oh, it’s on!”

Guang Hong beat Leo to the trailhead, and he beat him at their next meet, too. Leo congratulated him with a sweaty hug and they both vowed to train harder. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Half of the reason I wrote this was to recap my school years.


	3. friendsick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Endings and new beginnings at a party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning, this chapter describes teens using marijuana, and it doesn’t agree with Guang Hong.

A month later, Guang Hong considered Leo one of his best friends. They were number 4 on each other’s MySpace Top 8s and they texted every day. But the things that made Leo such a good friend were the same things that got on Yue’s nerves.

“He doesn’t text me that much because he thinks I might be studying. When we IM, he just sends me weird pictures off the internet.”

Guang Hong pursed his lips. “He’s probably just trying to cheer you up because he knows you study a lot. He’s considerate”

“And he’s so calm all the time. Nothing ever upsets him,” Yue went on as if Guang Hong hadn’t said anything. “Just once I’d like to see him get angry or sad or hungry or _something_!”

“He gets upset sometimes.” Guang Hong chewed his lip. He hadn’t told her about that day they’d talked about her at the park.

“Of course  _ you’ve _ seen him get emotional." She clicked her tongue and sighed. "I swear, sometimes it feels like you two are the couple.”

Guang Hong chewed the inside of his cheek. “Yue, he was worried you wanted to break up with him and he was asking me for advice. He was so sad."

"When was that? He should have talked to me!" Yue let out a frustrated grunt. "He's so chill that half the time it just feels like we're buddies or something."

That was just how Leo was, and it didn't sounds half bad to Guang Hong. If all relationships were like that, maybe he would be more interested in dating. "He likes you a lot. He’s just trying to be supportive. Are you sure you're not stressed out about something else and taking it out on him?"

“Whose side are you on, anyway?” Yue snapped. Guang Hong didn't know how to react. She  _ never _ yelled at him.

His shoulders went tight whenever people fought. He couldn’t help it—he hated seeing Yue upset, and he knew Leo would get upset, too. The thought twisted his stomach. “I'm on both of your sides. Maybe I don’t know anything, but it just kind of feels like you’re looking for things to be upset about.”

Yue took a deep breath, but it seemed like Guang Hong had finally gotten through to her. “Maybe. I guess I have some thinking to do. I’m sorry I yelled at you."

"It's okay. I know you've got a lot going on."

Yue shook her head and said, "That's no excuse. What did you need help with again?”

“Physics homework,” said Guang Hong quietly. Yue smiled and worked with him on the assignment. She was always a patient and professional tutor, demonstrating without giving away the answer. On paper, she and Leo should have been perfect for each other, and Guang Hong thought about saying something, but their relationship didn’t come up again.

At least not until later that night, long after Yue had gone home. Guang Hong's fingers froze just as he was about to send a cat picture to Leo.  _ Should I tell him that Yue’s mad at him? _

It wasn’t Leo’s fault. It wasn’t really Yue’s fault either. He had no idea what their relationship was like when they were alone together (or how romantic relationships worked in general). He hoped they would work it out, but it wasn't his place to intervene.

Then again, Leo was his friend. What if he had no idea Yue was annoyed with him? Wasn’t it Guang Hong’s responsibility to tell him?

But Yue was his friend, too, and his family. Yue’s earlier words replayed in his head:  _ Whose side are you on?  _ She had been angry. She probably hadn't meant it. Leo was his best friend, and he had flat out given Guang Hong permission to take her side. He'd insisted on it.

Guang Hong knew what he had to do. He sent the lolcat link on Facebook. A text lit up his phone screen less than a minute later.

Leo 9:39 PM  
_ haha saw your post that’s perfect _

Guang Hong swallowed. _He doesn't text me that much,_ Yue had said. That was the last push he needed.

Me 9:40 PM  
_ Hey you might wanna check in with Yue. _

It felt like the right decision. 

Leo 9:45 PM  
_ thanks _

That was the last he heard from Leo that night. Neither Yue nor Leo told him what became of that conversation, but two weeks later they were going to Nadia’s party together, so Guang Hong figured everything was good.

Nadia had invited him to the party, too, but he got a ride with James. He should have known something was up when James picked Keung up, too. 

“Thanks, man,” said Keung. “I wasn’t about to ride with my sister and Leo.”

Maybe it was because they got mushy in the car. Keung didn't have much of a stomach for romance, after all. At least Guang Hong hoped that was the issue. 

“I’m surprised you came, Keung,” said James. “Normally it's just me and the shorty at these things.”

Guang Hong tried to take the nickname as a compliment, a sign of their friendship, but he couldn't help it if his smile looked more like a grimace.

“He hates when you call him that,” Keung said.

James seemed shocked. “Really?”

“It’s fine,” Guang Hong started to say. Keung kicked his seat and he bit his lip. “Actually, he's right. It's not a big deal, but I don’t really like it.”

“Oh shit, I’m sorry, Guang Hong!” James really did look remorseful. “I won’t call you that anymore.”

“Thanks.” To Guang Hong’s surprise, he felt better. He always assumed bringing it up would make him sound oversensitive, but James took him seriously. He shot Keung a grateful look but Keung was fishing around in his backpack. Guang Hong had a hunch he knew what his cousin was looking for, and James didn't really approve, so he asked James about their English Lit assignment to distract him instead.

“Hey, guys!” Nadia greeted them once they reached her house. “Have you seen Yue?”

“She was picking Leo up,” said Guang Hong. They should have been there by now, but he tried not to worry. Maybe they were making up somewhere, doing something he didn't want to think about. 

“Oh,” Kevi said with a wink. His mind must have gone to the same place and he nudged Nadia in the ribs. “Guess they’re _busy_. You wanna get busy, too?”

“Not now, Kevi. People are still getting here!” But Nadia didn’t shake him off when he wrapped his arms around her waist. Guang Hong turned away to give them some privacy.

Keung had already disappeared, but James was still right next to him. “You wanna go check out the food situation?” James asked.

“Heck yeah!” Nadia always had amazing food. He and James helped themselves to a few of her mom’s famous sugar cookies. Not only had her parents left her alone for a weekend but they had left her with enough sugar cookies for the entire school. Guang Hong’s parents were never that lenient. They almost never left him alone in the house.

“Hey." James's voice pulled him from his thoughts. "I really am sorry about all the nicknames and, um, short jokes over the years.”

“It’s okay,” said Guang Hong. “I got used to it.”

“You shouldn’t have to get used to stuff like that. But if it bothered you, why didn’t you say something?”

Guang Hong scratched an itchy spot on his neck. “I guess I didn’t want to make a stink.”

“You can make a stink sometimes. You’re worth a stink.” James smiled at him and Guang Hong felt a little warmer inside. Was James flirting with him?

Guang Hong smiled back. “Well then, I’ll be sure to make a huge one next time.”

They both laughed, a little awkwardly. Guang Hong wasn't sure if it was just him or if the air between them was a little thicker. Charged, maybe? He wasn't the best at this stuff. 

“So, uh, do you think you might want to see a movie tomorrow?” James asked. They had seen movies with other guys from the team before, but Guang Hong got the idea that this was different.

His heart fluttered. “Like a date?”

“That was the idea,” said James.

Guang Hong’s ears were getting red. He was glad his hair covered them. “I’d like that a lot.”

“Cool.” James finished his cookie and laughed again. “Cool!”

And just like that, Guang Hong had been asked on his first date. James was his friend, so they were already used to each other. And a runner! Maybe he’d finally be able to go on that double date with Yue and Leo soon.

If they made it through their rough patch. Guang Hong wondered if they had arrived yet.

“Hey, I think Emma was talking about getting Mario Kart going. Did you bring your DS?” James asked, pulling his out of his pocket.

“Always,” said Guang Hong. He felt like he was floating, and he hadn’t even had any beer. They went off in search of Emma but found Yue talking to Nadia on the way. Leo was nowhere in sight and Yue's eyes were red and puffy. Guang Hong stopped and touched her shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“I’ll see you in a bit,” said James with an understanding nod. Guang Hong didn’t want to leave him, but Yue needed him more.

“Hey, Guang Hong,” Yue mumbled. Had she been crying? “Uh, you came with James and Keung, right? Do you think…”

“I can give you a ride,” Nadia said. “Whenever you want to leave.”

Guang Hong suppressed a gasp. Had she and Leo broken up? He threw his arms around her and slowly, she returned the hug. “I’m sorry,” he said, assuming the worst. 

“It’s okay. I mean, I was the one who broke up with him."

"Oh." That didn't change the way Guang Hong felt. As he understood it, breakups were hard no matter who ended things. 

"At least I finally saw him show some emotion.” Yue laughed weakly as she pulled back. Nadia nodded emphatically and put an arm around her shoulders, but Guang Hong didn’t think it was very funny or nice. Maybe he hadn't understood their relationship as well as he'd thought.

"Is he okay?" he asked.

"I hope so. He didn't take it all that well," Yue admitted. So she had broken up with him. Guang Hong's heart ached even more. 

“Is there anything I can do?”

Yue pursed her lips. “Maybe you could check on him? He could probably use a friend.”

“Sure, I’ll go." Of course Guang Hong was going to check on Leo. He stepped away but glanced back at Yue. "Are you going to be okay?”

Yue nodded, and Nadia squeezed her tightly. “I’ve got her,” she said.

Guang Hong headed off. He pulled out his phone and popped the keyboard to text Leo, but no response came.

If he were Leo, where would he be? Would he even come to the party? If he was here, he probably wanted some air. He loved being outside. Guang Hong followed his instincts to Nadia’s outdoor pool, drained for the cool weather. Some kids were talking around one of the patio tables but it was much quieter than inside. Peaceful.

Sure enough, Leo was sitting in a deck chair, facing away from the house.

“Guess you heard,” Leo muttered when he approached.

“Yeah.” Guang Hong sat down on the ground next to him. “You okay?”

“Am I robotic?” Leo dodged Guang Hong's question, but he was most definitely not okay. “Do I have a personality?”

“Of course you do,” said Guang Hong. “You’re funny, you’re easy to talk to, you’re always looking out for other people, and you’re a great friend.”

But it was like the words weren’t getting through to Leo. “Yue said she couldn’t even tell if I cared about her or not.”

“She said that?” Yue must not have been looking very hard. Guang Hong could see how much he cared. If Yue could see him now, on the verge of tears in Nadia’s back yard, would she change her mind? 

“I guess she’s right. I don’t get worked up about stuff. I like listening more than talking. But she was the first person I really..." Leo trailed off and looked away. "Guess it doesn't matter anymore.”

It tore Guang Hong apart to see his friend like this. “I’m so sorry, Leo. You sound like the perfect boyfriend to me."

Leo let out a humorless laugh. "She said something like that, too."

Guang Hong wasn't sure what he meant by that. "I just wish there was something I could do to make you feel better."

"I mean, you're here. I still feel like crap, but you're here." He didn't look at Guang Hong. He didn't need to. 

They stayed silent for a moment.

"I think you're gonna feel like crap for a while," Guang Hong said. "But you'll feel better eventually."

“Yeah, I know…” Leo took a deep breath and sighed. “Still sucks right now.”

“It really sucks," said Guang Hong, frowning. There had to be something he could do. 

Leo finally looked up and his face fell even more. “I’m sorry. I said I wouldn’t put you between us and now I’m doing it.”

Guang Hong shook his head rapidly. “You're not! Besides, I talked to Yue, too."

"You did?"

"She asked me to check on you, actually,” said Guang Hong. “But I would have done it anyway.”

“Thanks,” Leo said. He pursed and relaxed his lips a few times, then rubbed his forehead. “You don’t think she wants to talk, or maybe…” They both knew what he was going to say, and they both knew it wasn't going to happen.

Guang Hong caught a flash of light out of the corner of his eye. One of the seniors was lighting up a cigarette and it gave him an idea. “Do you want to get high?”

Leo frowned in confusion. “What?”

“Keung brought stuff. I saw it in the car.”

“I don’t really want to see Keung right now,” said Leo, looking down at his hands. Of course Leo wouldn’t want to see his ex-girlfriend’s brother.

“Sorry, it was just the first thing I could think of. I wasn’t thinking.” Guang Hong put a hand on Leo’s arm. “You’re my best friend. When you’re upset, I’m upset.”

Leo looked up again, and for the first time that night, Guang Hong saw a hint of a smile. “You’re my best friend, too. We don’t have to stop hanging out just because Yue,” his voice caught on her name, "and I broke up."

“No way." The thought hadn't even crossed Guang Hong's mind. "Besides, I think you let me win our last race," he joked. "I need a rematch."

“I would never throw a race!” Leo didn’t even have to say it. They both knew. It was still going to take time for Leo to feel better, but their friendship was solid. Leo stood up. “You know what? Fuck it.”

It was the first time Guang Hong had ever heard him use the F word. “F-fuck what?”

“Let’s go get stoned.”

That settled it. Guang Hong and Leo headed to the basement. They didn’t run into Yue, Nadia, or James on the way, but James would understand. Leo needed his best friend.

Keung and his stoner friends were already out of it, but Keung looked right at Leo when they walked in. “Hey. I heard Yue finally dumped you.”

“That’s not nice, Keung,” said Guang Hong. But Keung didn't seem to hear him.

“You guys were so wrong for each other.” Keung pointed to Leo with his bong. “You’re too chill for her and she’s too serious for you. But I can help you take the pain away.”

Keung was so weird. But Leo sat down next to him, lit the bowl, and took a hit.

“You’ve done this before?” Guang Hong asked.

Leo closed his eyes and exhaled. “Once,” he said, coughing a couple times.

“Want some help?” Keung asked Guang Hong, grinning. He seemed excited that Guang Hong was finally taking him up on his standing offer to smoke together.

“You don’t have to do this, you know,” Leo said. He closed his eyes and leaned back on the couch. “I'm already feeling better.”

But Guang Hong couldn’t think of anyone he’d rather try it with. He sat down next to Leo, and he let Keung help him with the process. But the moment he exhaled, his stomach lurched.  _ Sugar cookies _ , he thought with dismay. He felt like he had been spinning in circles for days and the cursed cookies almost came back up.

“Guang Hong?”

That was Leo's voice. He was probably mad. He had no girlfriend anymore, so of course he'd be mad at Guang Hong. “It’s my fault you and Yue broke up, isn’t it?”

“No, no, no. No way.”

_ No way either of them is ever going to talk to you again. They hate you now,  _ Guang Hong's brain told him.  Everyone hated him now. He deserved to feel this way, like his body was rejecting his stomach and his brain. All he wanted was to be a good friend. And tonight had been going so well! “Oh god, James is going to realize what a dork I am and dump me before we even go out.”

“Huh?”

“I’m going to die alone and friendless and short,” Guang Hong explained. Why hadn’t he taken up figure skating like his dad had wanted? 

“Do you still feel sick? If you need to throw up, I’ve got a trash can.”

That was Leo’s voice again.

“No, he’ll be okay. See, he’s fine.”

That was Keung. Keung would know what to do. Unless he didn’t. Unless Guang Hong was going to rot and die in this...this...where was he?

“Why do I feel like shit?” The nausea came and went again, and Leo kept staring at him like he was growing extra heads—did he have an extra head? An extra hand?

“This is...atypical,” said Keung.

"What’s wrong with me?” Guang Hong wailed. “Can you die from smoking weed?”

“No,” said all of Keung’s friends at once.

“But you said I was  _ atypical _ . What I'm the first person to die from it?”

Leo took his hand. “You’re not going to die. It’s going to be okay. What can I get you? Water?”

Guang Hong looked into his eyes and another wave of guilt hit him. He squeezed his eyes shut. “This was supposed to cheer you up and now you can’t even enjoy it! Why are all my ideas so terrible?”

“It’s okay, Guang Hong. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“Don’t worry about me! Just leave me here. You have your whole life ahead of you. Run a race for me and don't tell my mom how I died! Tell her I pushed an old lady out of the way and got hit by a bus.” Guang Hong’s eyes snapped open. “Oh my god, my mom’s gonna kill me.”

“That’s probably true,” said Keung.

“Hey, look at me. You’ll be fine. You just need to wait it out. Are you still feeling sick?”

Leo was looking at him again, calm as ever but concern in his eyes. How could Yue say he wasn’t emotional enough? He was perfect, and Guang Hong could always tell what he was thinking. Leo wasn’t mad at him. Leo was his best friend. He loved Leo. And Leo loved...

“I’m so sorry, Leo! You broke up with your girlfriend tonight and I got a date.”

“You got a date? That’s great.” Leo had the best smile. Just looking at it made Guang Hong feel better. The more Leo talked, the better he felt, and Leo kept talking because Leo always knew what he needed. “I’m happy for you. You’re okay. Do you want me to get James to take you home?”

Guang Hong remembered. “James! I’m going out with James.”

Big Pharma should have patented Leo’s smile. It could cure anything. “That’s great. I like James.”

“I like him, too. Am I going to be okay? It’s tomorrow.” 

“You’ll be just fine,” said Leo. “And you can tell me about it later.”

When Leo said it, Guang Hong believed him. There was going to be a later. He was going to be fine.

"I love how marijuana brings people together," said Keung.

Once Guang Hong felt a bit more like himself, Keung promised him he’d find something more mellow for next time. 

Guang Hong didn’t want a _next time_ anytime soon.  "No, thanks. Once was enough for me."

“So you had a bad high. That’s no reason to give up!” Keung said.

“I'm perfectly okay with giving up on this!” 

“Let’s go upstairs,” said Leo. He took a deep breath, but his sad eyes were back.

“There you guys are,” said James when they finally made it past the snacks (Leo and Keung had helped themselves, but it was going to be a long time before Guang Hong could eat another cookie). James put a hand on Leo’s shoulder. “I heard about, well, you know. Nadia told us before she took her home. Sorry.”

“It’s all right,” said Leo. Keung hovered behind them and James sniffed the air.

"What’s that smell?" he wondered. 

Keung grinned. “It’s a love potion.”

“Okay…” James squinted and looked at Guang Hong. "Are you okay? You look a little pale."

"I'll be fine," said Guang Hong. Feeling brave, he took James’s hand. “Are you ready to go?”

James smiled. “Yeah, if you are?” 

Guang Hong’s cheeks got warm again and he nodded. “Oh, but can you give Leo a ride? He’s, um, he shouldn’t drive right now. Too upset.”

“Of course, man.” James smiled at Leo, too.

"I'll help you get your car tomorrow," said Guang Hong. Leo smiled gratefully.

On the ride home, James and Guang Hong talked quietly in the front seat while Leo stared out the back window and Keung played on his DS. Leo’s house was a little out of the way, but they were all used to the Chicago suburbs. It took at least half an hour to get anywhere.

Before Leo got out of the car, Keung said, “I’m telling you, it always works.”

Leo ignored him and looked at Guang Hong. “Good night."

“Good night,” replied Guang Hong. “Sorry you had such a bad night.”

“It wasn’t all bad. I’m just glad you’re okay.” Leo managed a smile and added, “Have fun tomorrow!”

When he was gone, James turned to Guang Hong. “Wait, why is he glad you're okay?”

“Um, I had an atypical reaction.” Guang Hong blushed, adding, “To the sugar cookies, I mean.”

“Guang Hong almost puked, but he’s fine,” Keung put in.

“You sure?” James asked.

“He’s fine.” Keung grinned in the rear view mirror. “Love is magical.”

Guang Hong turned around to frown at him. “Enough.” 

Keung looked innocent, and  James looked cute when he wrinkled his nose. 

He dropped Keung off and then it was just James and Guang Hong.

“Your cousin is pretty weird, but you're a good friend,” said James. “It’s one of the things I like most about you.”

“Thanks,” said Guang Hong, blushing. “So, tomorrow?”

“Yeah! I was thinking maybe a matinee?” James smiled sheepishly. “Sorry, I’m broke.”

Guang Hong smiled back. “A matinee sounds perfect.”

They said good night, and a little lingering nausea and fresh butterflies swirled in Guang Hong’s stomach as he got ready for bed. He checked in with Yue, who insisted she was feeling better.

Even though they had just talked, he couldn’t sleep until he checked in with Leo, too.

Me 12:38 AM  
_ You OK? _

Leo 12:38 AM  
_ yeah, thanks to you  
and Keung   
_

Guang Hong laughed. He could tell that last line was typed grudgingly.

Me 12:38 AM  
_ I’m never getting high again!  
Unless you go through another breakup.  
Then I’ll get high with you. But only you. _

Leo 12:39 AM  
_ then remind me never to get dumped again _

Guang Hong was okay with that. He didn’t want to see Leo get hurt ever again, and he didn’t want Leo to have to talk him down again. But it had been one heck of a distraction.

Before he fell asleep that night, Guang Hong decided that he would do anything for his best friend, and he never broke a promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> keung ships it
> 
> remember texting with t9word? that was so much work.


	4. hot as ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo and Guang Hong work a summer job together and it's not awkward.

The summer before Guang Hong’s junior year was full of firsts. There was his first kiss (with James), his first time going a little beyond kissing (again, with James), his first half-marathon (with Leo), and his first job (also with Leo).

He had Leo to thank for the job. Leo’s moms owned an antique furniture store in Mount Prospect and Leo and Guang Hong worked the stockroom.

Guang Hong’s parents hadn’t been keen on him working at first. They wanted him to focus on school, sports, and volunteering, but Leo’s moms had talked them into it. Work experience looked good on college applications, too, and it wasn’t like a summer job would get in the way of school work.

For Guang Hong it meant having spending money he didn’t have to ask his parents for and getting paid to hang out with Leo. The future was still an abstract, far-off concept, but at least Guang Hong had a partial answer for the big question of what he wanted to do when he grew up. He wanted to work with Leo.

He didn’t want to move furniture forever, though.

“Lift with your knees,” Leo said as they hauled an armoire out of the back room. It was going to a customer’s truck, and Guang Hong couldn’t wait until it was loaded and he wouldn't have to worry about damaging it. 

“I am!” Guang Hong insisted. Sometimes even he had to admit that being short sucked, and Leo wasn’t much taller. “Do you ever think maybe we aren’t the best people to be doing this?”

Leo grunted as he tried to get a better hold on it. “Daily.”

“Maybe if we turn it this way…” That wouldn’t work. “Or what about upside down? No. Was this thing built in here?” Guang Hong wasn’t the best at spatial reasoning, and holding the armoire was killing his arms. It was so hot outside that he and Leo hadn't been able to take their morning run, and now he was sweating even in the air-conditioned store.

“Put it down,” said calm, rational Leo. “I’ve got it.” They switched places and, like a puzzle, Leo talked Guang Hong through lifting the armoire at an angle to make it through the door and steered them to the truck without damaging the wood or the store.

“Thank goodness for your brain,” said Guang Hong. They watched the customer drive off in the sweltering parking lot, and even Leo was sweating. "Let's get some water."

They both topped off their drinks at the cooler. Leo tipped his cup back, jiggling it to try to dislodge the half-melted ice mass as he chugged. The entire glass dumped down his shirt, sending them both into fits of laughter.

“So cold!" Leo gasped. "But I’m not even mad."

“I'm actually jealous," admitted Guang Hong. "Maybe I'll spill mine, too." The only thing dripping down his own back was sweat. He grabbed some paper towels and started wiping the floor.

"At least it didn’t get on the furniture,” said Leo. He bent down to help soak up the mess, but he was still dripping wet. Luckily, he still had the change of clothes that he hadn't needed this morning after they missed their run. Leo tried to pull his shirt off but the wet fabric rolled itself into a rope, getting stuck on his arms. Guang Hong laughed as he tried to help set Leo free.

Of course, Leo’s mom chose that minute to walk in. “Sorry! Didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“I just spilled some water on myself, Mom,” said Leo, completely unembarrassed that he was bare-chested with his shirt wrapped around his wrists like handcuffs. It didn’t really bother Guang Hong either, but at face value, Leo’s mom had just caught them stripping and everything made Guang Hong blush these days. His mom said it was just a normal part of coming of age, but Leo didn't seem to have that problem. 

Guang Hong unrolled the wet shirt and draped it over a plastic chair as Leo pulled on his extra T-shirt.

“Right.” Mrs. De la Iglesia covered up a cough with a laugh. “Well, good, because you’re on the clock! Anyway, I have to run a quick errand. Can you two manage the store for a half hour or so?"

“Of course,” said Leo.

Guang Hong nodded brightly. “We’ll take care of everything.”

She smiled at both of them and headed out. Leo and Guang Hong sat out front, talking about video games until a customer came in.

“Good afternoon,” said Guang Hong, straightening up. “Can I help you find something?”

“I’m kind of in the market for an end table,” said the customer.

Guang Hong grinned. “Well, we have kind of a lot! Right this way.”

He talked the customer through the pros of oak over pine and how it was indeed worth the extra cost, and he even sold the matching nightstand. It was an amazing feeling, to be taken seriously by a shopper. It almost felt like he was an expert—at least on this particular set of tables. It was silly, to feel so validated by a table, but if being an adult was like that sometimes, maybe Guang Hong could deal with it.

“Nice job,” said Leo when he came back in from helping load the car. He bumped fists with Guang Hong, eyes bright. “I always zone out when my moms start talking about trees."

Guang Hong opened his mouth in mark shock. “You gotta know your product, Leo!”

“Look at you over here making sales while I can’t even drink out of a cup,” said Leo, smirking. They spent the rest of their shift joking about Leo’s _drinking problem_.

When Leo’s mom returned, she noticed the sale right away. “You moved the little oak set? Great work!”

“It was all Guang Hong,” said Leo.

“Come on, you helped!” Guang Hong wouldn’t have been able to talk so confidently if Leo hadn’t been there.

Leo shook his head. “I just loaded the car, Mom.”

“Well, then I owe you commission, Guang Hong.” She went to her laptop. “Hope you’re okay with 20% of the sale to your next check! And for you,” she pulled a $20 bill out of her wallet and handed it to Leo, “Get yourselves some ice cream or something. It’s nasty out there.”

Visions of Boston Coolers floated through Guang Hong’s head. 

“Thanks, Mom,” said Leo. “I’ll be home for dinner.”

“Will you be joining us, Guang Hong? Crista’s making a shrimp stew.”

“Not tonight,” said Leo with a grin. “He’s having dinner with his boyfriend.”

Guang Hong nodded, ignoring Leo’s friendly ribbing. “But thanks for the invitation!”

She gave them an odd look but it morphed into a smile, and she thanked them for their hard work.

They braved the heat to walk down the street to the ice cream shop. Leo bought chocolate ice cream in a cone for himself and a float for Guang Hong, and they talked and laughed right up until they had to go home. They walked back to their cars, sweating and grinning and complaining about the heat, and Guang Hong let himself bask in the moment. Summer couldn't get any better than this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know what's awkward?  
> me naming this chapter after a britney filler track


	5. short shorts/t-shirts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guang Hong and Leo are solid, and James is insecure.

Summer ended all too soon, and Guang Hong and Leo couldn’t hang out every day anymore. They chatted online and texted throughout the week, they hung out and ran together on weekends, but they were both eager for cross country season to kick into high gear so they could see each other more. 

Even school felt different. It was the first time Guang Hong had to go without Yue. They kept in touch, but her coach thought she had a real shot at the Olympics so they didn’t get much time to talk. Even Keung had gotten a job at the one remaining record store in town so he was busy after school (and sometimes during school, Guang Hong suspected). 

James was a good distraction, along with the standardized tests they had to take in order to to apply for college. 

“Do you wanna sign up for an SAT prep course with me?” Guang Hong’s parents insisted he take one, but taking it with James would make it more fun. 

James shrugged. “I was just going to read a book.” 

“You sure? Leo took this course and he said it helped him a lot.” Guang Hong knew Leo’s scores, too, but he wasn’t going to share those with James. 

“Well if  _ Leo _ took it then it must be good,” James muttered. It was just a joke, but there was something weird about his tone. 

“Huh?” 

James shook his head. “Nothing. Let’s just go to class.”

Guang Hong was probably reading too much into it.

As fall got cooler, Leo started dating a guy named Micah. He was on the golf team, he wanted to be a veterinarian, and he seemed to make Leo very happy. Guang Hong couldn’t wait to meet him. 

“Want to come meet Leo and his boyfriend at the park for a run?” Guang Hong asked James. Leo had invited them via text. 

“Sure! But can his boyfriend keep up with us?”

It was a valid concern. Guang Hong already had to slow himself down to run with James (even though one of them kept getting taller, and it wasn’t Guang Hong).

But James came around to the idea, and come Saturday morning, the four of them were stretching at the trailhead. 

“Let’s just run at our own paces,” Micah suggested. “Don't wait up for me.”

It wasn’t long before Guang Hong and Leo fell into stride, leaving Micah and even James in the dust. At one point, they lapped Micah and Leo waved.

When it was time to cool down, Micah and James were nowhere to be found.

“They’ll catch up,” said Leo. He didn’t come out and say it but Guang Hong could tell Leo was waiting for his opinion.

“Micah seems really nice! He’s cute, too. I’m happy for you guys!”

Leo smiled. “I’m glad you like him. You and James still good?”

Guang Hong nodded, not sure why they wouldn’t be. He ignored the odd feeling in his chest, which had nothing to do with running. “This was fun. But maybe next time we hang out, we should do something, you know, slower.”

“Good idea.”

“Of course,” Guang Hong added, “I won’t complain because I got to run with you.” With school, cross country, and boyfriends there wasn’t much time for anything else, and Leo was deep into his college search. Guang Hong understood, but it didn’t make his Leo withdrawal any easier.

“I always run with you,” said Leo. “There’s an imaginary Guang Hong in my head when you’re not there, sort of like a pace car.”

Guang Hong laughed. “You might want to talk to a doctor about that.”

“Nah,” said Leo. “I’m pretty attached to him.”

Guang Hong would have to work on his own imaginary Leo, but it could never replace the real thing. “Are the recruiters still coming on super strong?”

Leo shrugged. “About what I expected. They’re already watching you, you know.”

“But I’m just a junior,” said Guang Hong.

“And you’re better than I was last year,” Leo said, stretching his arms. “I guarantee they already know your name.”

“Well, then we’ll both have to train extra hard so we can keep competing in college,” Guang Hong said. Of course, that implied they’d end up in the same conference.

Guang Hong didn’t want to consider the alternative yet. 

Leo’s smirk inspired him. “Deal.”

They finally found Micah and James talking by the bathrooms.

“What took you so long?” James wondered, throwing his arms up in jest. “We got 10 miles in waiting for you guys!”

“Sorry,” said Guang Hong. “We got into training mode.”

“I told you,” James said, nudging Micah.

Micah just smiled. “It’s cool. I couldn’t keep up with you guys even if I trained for a year.”

“We’ll play mini golf next time,” said Leo, going to Micah’s side. “Guang Hong and I only went together once and we couldn’t even get through the course.”

Micah laughed. “I can teach you how to swing a club. You can’t teach me how to be fast.”

“So, what now?” Leo asked, smiling at him and then looking to Guang Hong. “We could all go get something to eat.”

“Sounds good! I'm starving,” said Guang Hong. Micah seemed relaxed and friendly, a lot like Leo, but they hadn’t gotten much of a chance to talk yet.

“Wait, Guang Hong, what about our SAT prep course?” asked James, pulling on Guang Hong’s sleeve. The class was on Fridays, and James hadn’t even signed up for it.

“But—”

James gestured toward the parking lot. “I really can’t miss it again, my parents will kill me.”

_Oh_. James was trying to get them to leave. Maybe he was annoyed that Guang Hong and Leo had run off without him. Or maybe Micah had told him he wanted more time alone with Leo. No matter what, Guang Hong didn’t want a fight. 

“Aw, man,” said Micah, sounding genuinely disappointed. “I’m sorry, if I’d have known about your class, I would have suggested a different day.”

Leo made eye contact with Guang Hong, silently asking if everything was okay. He knew all about the class, and he knew James was being weird.

Leo had asked him about James earlier, hadn’t he?

Guang Hong smiled to reassure him. “No, it’s my fault. I forgot about it. But it was great to meet you, Micah! Hope to see you again soon.”

“Yeah, you too! Leo talks about you so much I feel like I know you,” said Micah. “I hope we can talk more next time.”

Guang Hong nodded. “That’d be great.”

He made to give Leo a half-hug goodbye but Leo pulled him closer with a hand in the middle of his back. “You want to stay?” he asked so only Guang Hong could hear.

“It’s okay,” Guang Hong whispered. He drew back. A chilly breeze blew past him but he forced a smile. “Talk to you later.”

Leo went back to Micah’s side as they walked away, but when Guang Hong glanced back, Leo was still watching him.

“I don’t think Leo and Micah would have minded if we had hung around,” said Guang Hong once he and James were out of earshot.

James didn’t reply right away. He pursed his lips like he was deep in thought. “You know how when most people start dating someone, they ignore all their friends?”

“I guess,” Guang Hong replied. He hadn’t ignored his friends when he and James had started dating.

“Well, you and Leo do the opposite. Micah and I both felt like third wheels today.”

“Did he say something to you?” Guang Hong wondered. Maybe he and Leo had gotten carried away with their run.

“Well, not directly, but you heard him yourself. He said Leo talks about you all the time.” James unlocked his car and climbed in.

“Leo’s my best friend,” said Guang Hong, getting into the passenger seat. “We talk about each other.”

“Don’t I know it,” mumbled James.

Why did that bother James all of a sudden? “Leo’s your friend, too, isn’t he?”

“He is!” James said quickly, pulling out of his parking spot. “I just gave Micah a little warning. I wanted him to know what he signed up for.”

Guang Hong frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“Just that you and Leo are so close it can be a little intimidating, especially at first.”

“What? Were you intimidated?”

“No!” James insisted. He must have felt Guang Hong’s eyes on him because he kept talking even as he watched the road. “I mean, you literally abandoned me for Leo minutes after the first time I asked you out. It didn’t bother me at the time, not much, but it set the tone for the relationship, didn’t it?”

That had been months ago. “Yue had just broken up with him,” Guang Hong explained. “I was helping her, too.”

“Right, but didn’t she break up with him because of you?”

Guang Hong narrowed his eyes and shook his head. “No way! It had nothing to do with me.” It was a personality conflict, and it was none of James’s business.

James shrugged. “I’m just repeating what people said.”

“Who said that?”

“People on the team, people at school. They just assume you guys are together.” He heaved a sigh and flicked on his turn signal. “But it’s whatever. I’m used to it.”

People on the cross country team thought Leo and Guang Hong were dating? Just because they were friends?

Although, now that Guang Hong thought about it, Yue had said something like that once. And Guang Hong’s parents had used Leo as an awkward segue into a safe sex talk earlier that summer. They had been surprised when he’d explained that he was with James, not Leo, but he had started having James over more after that.

“So what are you saying? You think I’m too close with Leo?” Because if James had a problem with his friendship with Leo, then Guang Hong had a problem with James. He’d read enough online advice to know that limiting access to friends was red flag behavior.

“No! I love that you guys are tight.” James took a deep breath. “I just didn’t want Micah to feel overwhelmed.”

“Oh.” So  _ James _ felt overwhelmed. For the next several miles, the pop music on James’s radio was the only sound.

James snuck a glance at him. “Do you want to get some food?”

“No.” Guang Hong had lost his appetite. “Could you just take me home?”

“Come on, are you seriously mad at me?” When Guang Hong didn’t respond, he said, “It doesn’t bother me. We’re still together, aren’t we?”

“It must bother you a little if you think I’m going to scare Micah off,” Guang Hong muttered.

“I probably said it wrong. Look, do you wanna go back? I’m sure they’d still meet us. We can say class was cancelled.”

“No. Just take me home.”

James sighed. “Okay.”

They rode in silence. When they got to Guang Hong’s house, James said, “I’ll call you later.”

“Sure.” Guang Hong didn’t even look at him. He went straight up to his room and tried to focus on a book, but all he wanted to do was talk to Leo.

For a moment, he wondered if James was right. Did Guang Hong rely too much on Leo? Did he not rely enough on James? The last thing Guang Hong wanted was to get in the way of Leo’s relationships.

But their friendship was no threat to a romantic relationship. It filled a different, separate part of Guang Hong’s life, just as important. He could imagine life without a boyfriend (he had lived that reality for most of his life) but he couldn’t imagine life without friends. He couldn’t imagine life without Leo.

He was right and James was wrong.

James gave him space that night. Leo checked in.

“Is everything okay? James was being kind of weird today,” he said over the phone.

“It’s fine. He’s just going through some stuff.” It wasn’t a lie, but it still turned Guang Hong’s stomach when he said it. He didn’t want to make Leo worry, and listening to Leo gush about his new boyfriend was way more interesting than talking about James’s jealousy. From what Leo said, Micah had really liked meeting Guang Hong and was disappointed they hadn’t gotten to hang out longer.

Guang Hong trusted Leo’s word above anyone else’s.

The next morning, Guang Hong answered the doorbell to find James standing on his porch, holding a French crepe layered with strawberries and chocolate sauce. 

“Can I come in?”

Guang Hong opened the door for him. “I suppose. But only because you brought sweets.”

“Thank god,” said James. “I stayed up all night learning how to make these, and you wouldn’t believe how hard it was to keep it from getting smooshed on the way over.” He handed Guang Hong the crepe and took his shoes off.

James followed Guang Hong to the kitchen, and Guang Hong sat down and took a tentative bite. “It’s good.”

“I hope so.” James sighed and shuffled his weight from one leg to the other. “Listen, what I said to Micah was totally out of bounds, and so was what I said to you.” Guang Hong took another bite and let James talk. “I’m sorry. I think I’m just a little jealous of you and Leo because I don’t have any close friends like that. You’re my best friend, but it’s not the same, is it?”

Guang Hong stopped eating. James was jealous, not because he was threatened by Leo but because he thought of Guang Hong as his best friend and Guang Hong didn’t feel the same way. Probably. 

“You’re right,” Guang Hong said. “It’s different. But that’s all right. I mean, Leo never made me apology crepes before.”

“No?”

Guang Hong’s parents were out shopping, so once he finished the crepe, he showed James some of the other things he had never done with Leo. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for reading my little leoji experiment <3


	6. looming separation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo visits colleges and Keung still ships it.

“Want to come over for a run? My mom and I are going to check out colleges this week so I won’t be able to hang.”

“Seriously? That’s so exciting!” Guang Hong exclaimed. He meant both the run (they were working their way up to the 10K together) and the colleges. 

“I figured I should take some of these coaches up on their offers.”

It would be a bummer to miss out on break with Leo but he sounded so excited that Guang Hong was too happy for him to dwell on it. “I’ll be right there!”

Once they finished their run and made it back to Leo’s house, they went up to his room. Guang Hong sat down on Leo’s bed and asked, “Will your mother help with the store while you and your mom are gone?”

“Don’t think so, but I’ll tell her to call you if she does.”

“How far is the drive?” Guang Hong wondered.

“Notre Dame is about two hours away and IU is about four,” said Leo. He drew the driving route in the air. “We have to make a triangle.”

Four hours. The words struck Guang Hong in the heart. Leo was going off to college next year and he wouldn’t be a short drive away anymore. He could end up going to a school that was even further away.

_ And why shouldn’t he? _ Guang Hong wanted Leo to go to the school that would make him the happiest. They still had the rest of the school year together, and the summer. And even after Leo went away to school, they’d keep talking and see each other on breaks.

But they wouldn’t be able to just sit in each other’s rooms, watching music videos on YouTube and building running playlists full of tracks at the perfect BPM. They wouldn’t be close enough to play Mario Kart together, and they wouldn't be able to hang out on random school nights just because they missed each other.

Leo smiled at him, but that touch of sadness in his eyes said everything. They were thinking the same thoughts. Guang Hong stood up and flung his arms around Leo. “I’m so excited for you. I hope you like both schools!"

Leo hugged him back. “You want my decision to be even harder?”

“Okay, then I hope you love one and hate the other!”

“Either way, I’ll tell you everything,” said Leo with a laugh. His mom called up the stairs, and Guang Hong has picked up enough Spanish to know that dinner was ready and he was welcome to stay.

He didn’t make it home until almost midnight but his parents never minded when he stayed late at Leo’s. They had done their homework together anyway.

Guang Hong ended up hanging out with Keung over the break.

“So where’s your better half?” asked Keung.

“James went to his aunt’s wedding in Denver."

“Sure.” Keung rolled his eyes. “Let’s pretend I was asking about that guy. Where’s Leo?”

Guang Hong told him about the college visits. He hadn’t heard from Leo yet but he hoped he was having fun. “What about you? Thinking about college?” Keung had never talked about it before.

“Nah. I’m going to work at Underground until I can save up enough to move to Amsterdam. Backpack for a year or something.”

Keung’s parents could afford to send him to Amsterdam but Guang Hong got the feeling they had different plans for his future. Just like his insistence upon working at the record store, Keung was going to find his own way whether they liked it or not.

“I’ll come visit you,” said Guang Hong. “Just don’t make me smoke.”

“Hey, you came to  _ me _ that night, remember?” Keung laughed. “And people say I forget stuff.”

They watched a few episodes of _Family Guy,_ snacking on chips and salsa and cringing at the jokes.

“Yue always liked this show more than us, huh?” Guang Hong said.

Keung put his nose up. “I’ve always been more of a  _ South Park _ guy myself. More sophisticated.”

“Oh right, because there’s nothing more sophisticated than talking poop.”

“Now you sound like my sister,” said Keung. “That show is layered, man. High level social commentary.”

“And dick jokes,” said Guang Hong, scooping out the last of the salsa. “Don’t forget dick jokes.”

Keung smirked. He paused the DVR so he could skip the commercials. “My parents already got us tickets to the Olympics in Beijing this summer. I guess we’ll sell them if Yue doesn’t make the team.”

“She’s going to,” said Guang Hong. He kept on top of Yue’s jumps online and she was definitely on track, so to speak.

“Your mom was talking about going, too.”

That was the first Guang Hong had heard of it. Sure enough, when he went home, his parents told him they were trying to get tickets.

Going to Beijing to see Yue compete would be the trip of a lifetime, but it would cut into his last summer with Leo. With a heavy heart, he checked his email.

As promised, Leo had sent him a lengthy message about his visits. He hadn’t liked Notre Dame, but IU sounded amazing. The cross country coach would have signed him then and there if she could have. He was interested in their public policy program and he wanted to take Mandarin. The email oozed excitement and Guang Hong felt guilty for trying to hang onto Leo so tightly.

Their friendship was bound to keep changing, but just because Leo was going away to school didn’t mean they’d stop being friends. Nothing could stop that.

When he got back, Leo was still raving about the campus and Guang Hong wanted to hear everything. It sounded incredible—Guang Hong couldn’t wait to visit him there and he hadn’t even left yet.

“So how was your long weekend?” Leo asked. Guang Hong told him about the Olympics. “I hope your parents can get tickets! You have to go support Yue.”

Leo’s response was automatic and his enthusiasm was real, but Guang Hong didn’t miss the hint of sadness. They were always going to put each other first, but that didn’t make it easy or fun.

Leo was signed on with IU before the end of the year. It wasn’t a full scholarship, but it was plenty, and they celebrated with food, games, and chatter until hours after Guang Hong’s curfew. It was the giddiest Leo had ever been.

When cross country season started, Guang Hong expected the recruiting to calm down since most of the stand-out seniors were signed.

Now all the recruiters wanted to talk to him.

Leo just smiled and said, “I told you so."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> using real locations is hard yo


	7. an ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guang Hong is an amazing best friend but maybe not the best boyfriend.

Guang Hong didn’t know what to think when IU recruiters started showing interest in him. He didn’t want to pick a school just because Leo was going there, but that wasn’t a good reason  _ not _ to pick a school, either. He really did like the coaches, and the business school had a good reputation.

He and Leo would stay friends no matter where they ended up. They’d have summers, and they might even still see each other at competitions. But as much as Guang Hong loved competing against Leo, he couldn’t stop thinking about being on the same team. They trained best together, and the only thing better than competing against Leo was running with him.

James couldn’t believe he was even considering it. He made little comments every time he saw Guang Hong, to the point of being obnoxious.

“You can get a business degree literally anywhere. Why there?”

Guang Hong didn’t miss the not-so-subtle dig at his interest in sales.

“Don’t you get a scholarship just for being under a certain height? You could go to any school you want!”

He didn’t appreciate short jokes, and James knew it.

“If you just want to go to a school where you know someone, at least make sure it’s a good school. Like Northwestern.”

_ James _ was going to Northwestern. He wanted to be an engineer and he got better grades than Guang Hong and Leo put together. He didn't want to keep doing cross country. That was all fine. 

James’s only problem was the same one they’d always had.

“Oh, sorry, I forgot that was only cool when it’s  _ Leo’s _ school.”

Guang Hong hated fighting, but even he had his limits.

“Stop it,” Guang Hong burst out in the hallway, so loud didn’t even recognize his own voice. James looked just as shocked. “I’m going to go where I want to go.”

James recovered with a scowl. “No, you’re going to go where Leo goes because you can’t function without him.”

“You’re just mad that I have no trouble functioning without you,” Guang Hong shot back. He didn’t recognize the words coming out of his mouth, either.

“You don’t think it’s weird?” James crossed his arms. “Do you even know how long we’ve been dating?”

Guang Hong didn’t, and James narrowed his eyes at the silence.

“Ten months. And you’re still closer with him than with me. It’s weird,” James repeated. “And it's never going to change, is it?”

All Guang Hong could say—quieter, like himself again—was, “He’s my best friend.”

Later that night, after it was really over, Leo picked him up from his house. They worked out at the gym since it was too wet to run outside.

“Do you want to go drop in on Keung?” Leo offered when they finished.

Guang Hong needed the laugh. “That’s only for when  _ you _ get dumped.” But Leo and Micah were still going strong, and Leo would never ask Guang Hong to do anything he didn’t want to do. They went out for bubble tea instead.

In hindsight, maybe Guang Hong should have been more upset about the end of his first romantic relationship. He hadn’t told Leo all the details—it wasn’t Leo’s fault James was insecure. Leo had probably figured it out anyway, and they were both determined not to waste their last few months of school worrying about what other people thought.

But the more they tried to savor the time, the faster it flew by, and in the blink of an eye, Guang Hong and Keung were cheering for Yue in Beijing as she marched in the opening ceremony. Leo hosted a viewing party back home and swore he had picked out Guang Hong in the crowd on TV. 

They had Skype chats at whatever odd hours Guang Hong could manage to get internet access. Yue placed 20th and was already talking about preparing for 2012. As much as Guang Hong missed Leo, celebrating her achievement with his family was something he'd never forget. He couldn't wait to do it again in four years.

He got home just in time to help Leo move into his dorm. Leo bounced around campus, almost hyper as he showed Guang Hong all the highlights. It was easy to fall in love with the school through Leo’s eyes, but it looked just as amazing through his own. By the end of the day, Guang Hong couldn’t imagine going anywhere else. He didn't tell Leo, and Leo didn't ask, but when they said goodbye, they both knew the separation was temporary.

They talked on Skype so much that after just the first week, Leo’s roommate Joao was already greeting Guang Hong by name. By the time Leo came home for fall break, Micah still hadn’t been to visit and Guang Hong had stayed over twice.

Guang Hong was counting down the days until Thanksgiving break when he got an email from James.  _ Oh _ , he realized with a twinge of guilt,  _ I haven’t seen him at school at all this year. _ He vaguely remembered that James was taking most of his classes at a local community college now—which was the sort of thing a boyfriend should have known.

James might have been insecure, but Guang Hong hadn’t been a very good boyfriend, either.

He opened the message.

_ Hey. I hope you had a good trip to China. I watched Yue on TV, but it must have been amazing to see in person. _

_ I’ve been thinking about the way things ended and listening to the new Taylor Swift album a lot. Probably too much because this song reminds me of you. _

There was a hyperlink to a YouTube video and Guang Hong was almost afraid to click it.

It was just a fanmade lyric video for a song called  _ You Belong with Me. _ Guang Hong cringed. It wasn’t his kind of song, and the title made him afraid that James wanted to get back together, but the lyrics described watching a friend date someone else.

_ Dating you was like being the girlfriend in this song. I was always afraid that you’d wake up one day and realize that you and Leo were more than friends, and I couldn’t handle that. It doesn’t excuse the way I acted, but I’m sorry. I hope we can be friends again someday. _

_ James _

_ More than friends _ was a weird expression, because for Guang Hong, there was nothing more important than friendship. The song didn’t apply to them at all, but he should have paid a little more attention to James while they were dating.

He sent a quick email back to that effect and felt a little better, but they didn’t keep up beyond the occasional Facebook message.

Meanwhile, the song became an inescapable hit and every time Guang Hong heard it, he thought about how James and Taylor Swift just didn’t get it. Even if there was some parallel universe where Other Guang Hong harbored a secret crush on Other Leo, it wouldn’t matter unless Other Leo felt the same way.

Besides,  _ this _ Guang Hong liked things just the way they were.


	8. winter break, interrupted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winter break, disrupted by Taylor Swift.

Winter break brought Leo home again and the second thing he did (after running a load of laundry) was drive to Guang Hong’s house. The third thing Leo did was hug Guang Hong in the doorway until his mother scolded them for letting all the heat out. They broke apart and Guang Hong shut the door while Leo took his boots off.

“Congratulations on your first semester!” his mother said to Leo.

He thanked her in Mandarin and she clasped her hands. “Wow! Good pronunciation!" She took his coat and added, “I think you got taller.”

“Did I?” He looked down at Guang Hong and shrugged.

Guang Hong tilted his head to glance up at Leo. “You look the same to me.”

“Well, I haven’t seen him in a while,” said his mother, patting Leo's head. “Your hair got longer. Don’t cut it.” Guang Hong hadn't really noticed that, either, but they saw each other on Skype every day.

“I could have come over and helped you with the rest of your laundry,” said Guang Hong once his mother went back to her office.

“I’ll be home for four weeks,” Leo replied. “I’ll have time.”

Four weeks sounded like an eternity, but Guang Hong knew it would fly by. He turned back to Leo as they headed for the kitchen. “But you had a four hour drive. I feel bad that you came all the way here on top of that.”

“I missed you,” Leo said simply. “I missed your parents too, and mine are working late.”

Leo’s moms didn’t get home until the early hours of the morning around Christmas. They sometimes crashed at work when things got too busy, and it must have been a bummer for Leo to come home to an empty house.

“You can stay with us if you want!” Guang Hong exclaimed, handing him a bag of potato chips. He knew Leo would be hungry. “I’ll ask my parents but I’m sure it’s fine.”

Leo smiled. “Only if it’s no trouble.”

He tore into the chips while Guang Hong yelled into the next room to ask his mom for permission.

“Okay, but only if Leo sleeps in the guest room,” his mother called back in Chinese.

Guang Hong frowned in confusion. Where else would he sleep? Leo always slept in the guest room or on the couch and his parents had never cared before.

Leo tilted his head when Guang Hong turned back to him. “It’s fine if she said no. It's pretty last minute."

“What?” Guang Hong was still processing his mother’s words—he forgot that Leo wouldn’t understand them. “No, she’s fine with it.”

“What else did she say?” There was a lilt in Leo’s voice and for a second, Guang Hong wondered just how hard he had been studying Mandarin.

“Just that I have to make up the guest room.” Why were Guang Hong’s ears so hot? The guest room sheets probably did need to be changed, but he never lied to Leo.

Leo dropped it because that was the kind of guy he was. He brushed the crumbs off of his hands. “I can help. Let me just text my parents.”

Sheets changed, they went to Guang Hong’s room to play games, sitting side by side on the floor, backs against the bed. His mom walked by the open door once and Guang Hong remembered something.

“When are you getting together with Micah?”

“Oh…” Leo closed his DS and sat up a little straighter. “He’s with his parents at their cabin in Whistler.”

“That sucks that you can’t see him,” Guang Hong said, sitting up and putting his game system away, too. It sounded like Leo needed someone to listen.

“Actually, he invited me to go with him,” Leo went on. He swallowed. “With them.”

“Oh,” said Guang Hong. Leo’s expression was enough to give him an idea what was going on, but he let Leo talk.

“I told him I wanted to come home and see you, help at the store, you know.”

_ She wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts… _ Guang Hong ignored the song in his head. “How did he react?”

“I think he was disappointed. It’s hard to tell.” Leo sighed. “He doesn’t ever want to talk and we haven’t seen each other in months. I think this trip was supposed to make up for it, but it’s too late.”

“Wow,” said Guang Hong. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’d rather be here with you any day.”

They watched the new  _ Star Trek _ movie after dinner. Guang Hong had already seen it but Leo hadn’t. When it was over, they watched random videos on YouTube until Leo dozed off on the couch.

He had pulled his hair into a messy half-ponytail on top of his head, and the shorts he had borrowed were almost too small for him. His mouth hung open, just a little, from his awkward sleeping position. Affection surged within Guang Hong as he studied him, and he thought,  _ This is my favorite person in the entire world. _

Guang Hong’s parents had gone to bed an hour ago, but not before checking on them. Did they expect to find them making out or something?

More than once, Guang Hong had dreamed about it, in dreams so mundane they weren’t worth remembering. Usually, they’d be watching a movie (like they had tonight) or some other normal thing, and Dream Leo would turn and kiss him, short and sweet. Domestic.

The first time it had weirded him out a little, but dreams weren’t exactly reliable interpretations of his innermost desires. Guang Hong had learned to interpret those as “I miss Leo” dreams.

Leo had featured in a much less innocent dream, but Guang Hong chose to interpret that one as “holy crap, I’ve been single for a long time.”

He never told Leo about the dreams, even though he wondered if Leo had them, too. Leo would probably laugh off the sex dream and say something like, “I hope I bought you dinner first.”

Guang Hong shoved those thoughts aside with a quiet snicker, but he didn’t want to watch prank videos anymore. He couldn’t tear his eyes or his thoughts away from Leo.

Leo was going to break up with Micah, and it sounded like he had been thinking about it for a while. Micah hadn’t come up in conversation for weeks. Guang Hong had figured Leo was just taking pity on him since he was single, but maybe there was nothing to tell.

Guang Hong should have asked.

Leo’s moms would have let him go to Whistler, even in the rush up to Christmas. They had other help at the store (including Guang Hong, now that school was out).

But at least now he would get to work with Leo. Guang Hong always welcomed more time with his best friend. He just didn’t want him to be unhappy.

Leo smiled in his sleep, and that had to mean something. He wanted to be here. Guang Hong dimmed the lights, draped a quilt over him, and went up to bed.

It wasn't the first time Leo had slept on his couch, and he knew where the guest room was if he wanted to move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guang hong thinks of himself as leo’s-eyebrows-tall and leo judges his own height based on where guang hong is in his field of view #justbestfriendthings
> 
> sadly, they both reached peak height early
> 
> real talk, anyone ever have sex dreams about friends? lol o/


	9. tamarind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guang Hong's last winter break before college ends up being his best ever.

The antique store closed early on Christmas Eve. Leo’s family made a much bigger deal about Christmas than Guang Hong’s so he wouldn’t have much time for a couple days, but Guang Hong had brought his present to work.

“Merry Christmas,” he said, holding out a wrapped box.

“Oh, I brought yours, too,” said Leo. He took the box from Guang Hong and gave it a light shake. “Did your mom wrap this?”

“No!” Guang Hong’s face warmed. “I did it.”

“The lines are crisp,” said Leo, sliding a finger under the tape without ripping the paper. Guang Hong’s heart raced as he watched Leo opened his present. He pulled out the ASICS box and said, “I can already tell you spent way too much.”

Guang Hong shook his head, blushing a little deeper. His parents paid for pretty much everything he needed, so he was free to spend all of his part-time job money on Leo.

Leo’s eyes went wide when he opened the box. “These are…” he said, pulling the shoes out. They looked just as perfect as Guang Hong remembered: burnt orange with yellow and blue trimmings, with a subtle, silvery shimmer to the blue. Kayanos were pricey but they were Leo’s favorite for regular training.

“Do you like them?”

Leo breathed out a laugh, like the question was ridiculous. “They’re amazing.” He took off the shoes he was wearing and started putting the new ones on right there on the floor. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to wear them in the snow.”

“You can wear them wherever you want. They’re yours.”

Leo was in rapture as he laced them up. “They fit perfectly.” He looked up at Guang Hong. “But they were definitely too much. I didn’t spend this much on you.”

“I don’t care,” said Guang Hong shaking his head. “You didn't have to get me anything at all!”

“Too bad, because I did.” Leo jumped up, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Oh man, that feels good.”

Guang Hong beamed, relieved Leo hadn't had any late growth spurts.

Leo jogged over to where his backpack sat in the corner and pulled out a gift bag. “Sorry, it got a little crushed.”

“That’s okay!” Guang Hong took the heavy bag and pulled out the tissue paper. He pulled out an IU hoodie and warmth flooded his chest. “Leo! I love it!”

“You do?” Leo smiled. He tucked a piece of hair that had slipped from his ponytail behind his ear. “There’s more in there, but I thought you needed something for next year. Whatever you decide.”

Guang Hong was getting choked up. He knew exactly what Leo meant. If he chose Michigan State or Miami, he could wear it and think of Leo. And if he chose IU, he could wear it and be with Leo. He’d had some off-the-cuff offers but hadn’t committed to a school yet. He was okay with waiting until spring—Guang Hong needed to be sure it was what he wanted, but his heart had been steering him toward IU all along.

“I want to go. I was going to tell you, but I wanted the right moment and…”

Leo wrapped him in a tight hug. “I can’t wait,” he said into Guang Hong’s hair. “I didn’t want to influence your decision, but—”

“You didn’t! I knew on the last visit. The coaches are so awesome and I don’t have anything in writing yet but I think they’ll make a good offer. I want to major in Marketing and I can’t wait to run with you and hang out and…” He was too overwhelmed to keep going. “This is the best Christmas present ever.”

“I agree,” Leo said, pulling back. “There’s more in the bag, you know.”

Guang Hong wiped his eyes and checked. The bag was packed with his favorite tamarind candy. “Thank you!”

“That should last you the rest of winter break, right?” Leo said. He blinking way more than normal.

“Most of it, if I pace myself.” But the fact that Guang Hong couldn’t resist opening one right there wasn’t a good sign. The weather wasn’t good for running, either, but it was Christmas Eve. He could cheat a little bit, and he and Leo would hit the gym on the 26th. 

Leo grinned at him. “I can’t believe we’ll be at the same school next year.”

“I mean, I have to get accepted first,” Guang Hong said.

“You will.”

Once the store was closed up, it was time to go home. With one last hug and a “Merry Christmas” to Leo’s parents, Guang Hong drove back to his house. Keung and Yue’s parents’ car was already in the driveway so he had to park on the street.

He was ushered in to help with dinner before he could even greet his cousins. No fancy meal was planned, but extra people meant extra work. Guang Hong didn’t mind. Folding dumplings could be pretty relaxing.

“I’m sorry about the other day,” his mother said. “For checking on you and Leo so much. Sometimes I don’t know what to make of you two. I never had close friends like that.”

“It’s okay,” said Guang Hong. He had already forgotten about it.

“I don’t know what it’s like to be an only child,” his mother began. “But I can understand wanting a brother, and—”

“Well, it’s not like that, either,” Guang Hong said with a wince. Leo was just Leo.

“I’m already the brother he never had,” Keung said, wandering into the kitchen in hopes of grazing.

Guang Hong’s dad thrust a knife into Keung’s hands. “If you’re in here, you’re working.”

“Whoa!” Guang Hong swept in and took the knife from Keung. “I’ll chop cabbage. You fold wrappers.”

Keung shrugged and got to work wrapping dumplings while Guang Hong took to the cutting board. 

After dinner, Guang Hong roped Yue and Keung into playing video games.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing,” Keung muttered as his racer slid off the track again.

“You’re supposed to race,” said Yue, brow set in determination. She won by a wide margin and Keung growled.

“Next time, anyone who’s competed in the freaking Olympics is disqualified.”

“Guang Hong’s going to beat you, too," she pointed out.

“We’ll see about that,” Keung said. “I’m coming for you, Scholarship Boy.”

“Really?" Yue turned to Guang Hong and grinned. "Congratulations! Why didn't you tell me? From where?”

Guang Hong drew his knees in and hugged its legs. “I don't have any yet, but there's been some talk. None of the really big schools or anything.”

“Stop it, no matter where you go, that’s awesome!” Yue nudged him and asked, “Are you leaning a certain way?”

Guang Hong still had Leo’s present with him (and not just because he had been sucking on tamarind candy all night), and he pulled out the sweatshirt.

Yue smiled at him. “I think that’s a great school for you.”

“I know nothing about sports, therefore I agree with Yue,” said Keung. “And you’ll get to be with your _other brother_."

Guang Hong chucked a piece of candy at him. “Stop!”

“Wait, what?” Yue wondered, pushing on Guang Hong's shoulder. “Who’s your brother? Keung?”

Keung grinned. "Yeah, and L—"

“Don’t tell her!” said Guang Hong, beaning him in the chest with another candy.

“Stop throwing these nasty things at me!” Keung cried. He tried to throw them back at Guang Hong but they landed at his feet.

“Wait, isn’t that Leo’s school?” Yue said, pointing at the sweatshirt. “Ew! He’s not your brother! You guys are like, married, or something.”

Guang Hong almost choked on his candy, but he didn't argue. 

Keung broke into a grin. "And if they're my brothers, then they're _your_ brothers, and that means you kissed your brother!"

“Stop being gross, Keung!"

"I'm gonna call you Princess Leia!"

The candy was wasted on Keung, so Guang Hong collected them from the floor, laughing all the while. Awkwardness aside, it had been an excellent Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congratulations, if you're still reading this story, you are in my will. I don't have much to pass down, but please take my eternal love and affection.


	10. the name of the game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's nothing like playing Settlers of Catan with a contact buzz.

Guang Hong and Leo celebrated together on December 31. The store was closed the next day, but they both ended up helping to clean the store and restore some new aquisitions.

“Want to come over tomorrow morning?" Guang Hong asked. He put his sandpaper down and wiped the sweat from his brow. "Keung keeps trying to get me to play this board game but it needs at least three people.” Keung had tried unsuccessfully all break to talk Yue into playing, and now she was back at school for conditioning.

“I wish I could,” Leo sighed. “Micah’s family is back in town and I’m going to go talk to him.”

“Oh…” From the look on Leo’s face, it wasn't going to be a fun conversation, but he was kind enough to have it in person. Guang Hong frowned and patted his arm. “Good luck.”

“Thanks.” Leo looked around the store, like he was desperate for something, anything to catch his attention. Anything but Guang Hong. “I’ll, uh, see you later.”

Guang Hong nodded and drove to Keung’s house. He didn’t feel like being alone, even if it meant putting up with smoke.

His aunt and uncle weren’t home. Even though it was cold outside, Guang Hong cracked Keung's bedroom window and tried not to breathe too deeply.

“I can’t wait to be done with school,” Keung said. “At least there's one good thing about not being the favorite child. Mom and Dad don’t care what I do.”

“They care.” But Guang Hong didn’t look up from his video game until after he said it.

“Sure." Keung cracked a smile. "Just not as much."

Keung mumbled through his travel plans for after graduation: starting in Amsterdam and backpacking though Europe. It sounded terrible to Guang Hong, but he forced a smile.

“Is anyone going with you?”

“My buddy Steve,” said Keung. Guang Hong had never met him. “I don’t have a Leo, but he’ll do.”

There was only one Leo. Guang Hong wondered how he was doing with Micah.  They were eating takeout from Guang Hong’s favorite shawarma place when he got his answer via text.

_ Didn’t go well  
_ _ Can I still come over? _

The garlic sauce went sour and Guang Hong said _yes_ without even asking Keung.

“What's wrong?” Keung wondered. “You don't look so good.”

Guang Hong shook his head and explained. Even though Keung kept eating, Guang Hong saved half of his food for Leo even as Keung kept eating.  He was the one who answered the door, too. Leo looked crestfallen.

“Leo…” Guang Hong drew his best friend in for a hug and didn’t let go until Leo loosened his grip.

“It was time, but I still don’t like letting people down,” Leo whispered before pulling back.

Guang Hong didn’t say it, but in all the time they’d known each other, Leo had never let him down. Now, he had to be there for Leo.

“Are you hungry?” Guang Hong asked. “I saved you some shawarma.”

Even a half smile was an improvement. “You’re the best, but I’m not really hungry.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

Leo shook his head. “I’d rather just hang out with you. What are you guys doing, playing that game?”

“Oh!” Guang Hong brightened. “Let’s see if he wants to! I think I heard him go upstairs.”

They ascended the stairs and Keung’s door was shut. Guang Hong knocked.

“Thought you two might like some privacy, but come on in,” drawled Keung. 

Guang Hong opened the door to find Keung obscured by a cloud of smoke, like the caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland. With a sigh, Guang Hong fanned the air in front of his face.  “I was going to ask if you wanted to play Settlers of Catan but I’m guessing that’s going to be a no.”

Keung smiled as the smoke cleared. “On the contrary, that’s exactly what I had in mind, mon frères."

“ _Mes frères,_ ” Leo interjected.

“Okay,” Keung held out his glass pipe, “if you’re correcting people, you need this more than I do.”

Leo shook his head. “Dude, there is enough smoke in here to get your neighbors high.”

“Suit yourself.” Keung pulled out the game box from under his bed. “Now are we playing?”

“In here?” Leo glanced at Guang Hong, brow lowered in concern.

“I’ve been around him all day, and I’m fine,” Guang Hong assured him.

Keung could barely get through explaining the rules and after a while, Guang Hong and Leo weren’t much more coherent, but they stumbled through most of a game before they were snickering too much to play.

They watched TV instead. Keung and Guang Hong took the couch, sharing a bag of barbecue chips. Leo sat cross-legged on the floor, eating the leftover shawarma and leaning against Guang Hong’s calf like a pillow.

It was just reruns of some legal drama, but all of them were giggling.

“This is perfect,” Leo said, putting the empty takeout container down. "Just what I needed."

Guang Hong ruffled Leo’s hair and smiled. He couldn’t agree more.

And he only felt a little sick in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story is about 90% written now, maybe about 20 chapters total? reposting it has been fun because i get to fix my mistakes and shape it up, but i still like the second half better than the first. not much else to say except thanks for reading <3


	11. mixing it up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guang Hong and Leo meet some familiar faces at a networking event.

Come spring, Guang Hong had been accepted at IU with a cross country scholarship, and come fall, he was there. Classes and running kept him on his toes, and he and Leo kept each other from getting too stressed out.

The cross country coaches must have known what they were doing when they recruited the team. From the first practice, it was like everyone had been running together for years and Guang Hong fit right in—maybe because everyone had heard so much about him from Leo.

“We’re just going to call you both Jiglesia from now on.” Guang Hong couldn’t remember which one of their teammates had proposed it but the nickname stuck, and neither of them minded.

If competing against Leo was motivating, competing with him was downright inspirational. Having Leo there made up for that growth spurt Guang Hong still hadn’t had, and he shaved chunks of time off his personal bests. Leo kept beating his own records, too.

Going to the same school brought them closer than ever, and they saw more of each other than they saw their respective roommates.

“Why don’t we just save time and room together next year?” Leo suggested. Guang Hong had never heard a better idea in his life.

Dating wasn’t really an issue for Guang Hong. He made friends and flirted with guys here and there, but now that the roughest parts of “blossoming into a man” ( _Thanks, Mom,_ he thought with a shudder) were behind him, he hadn’t really felt the urge to pursue anyone in a long time.

Leo dated here and there, though, one girl for a few months, a guy for a few more. Guang Hong was always happy to stay with other friends when Leo wanted privacy.

But most nights, it was just Guang Hong and Leo, hanging out and studying. They had a system.

Every other day, the TV was on from 4:30 to midnight, starting with reruns of  _ The Simpsons _ and ending with reruns of  _ Iron Chef _ (with maybe a few syndicated _ Disney Channel  _ originals in between). It wasn’t so much for the background noise or the shows themselves, but the running commentary between him and Leo.

On non-TV days, Leo would play music. Somehow, he always knew just what to pick to match the day’s mood. If it was a study day, he’d find something engaging but not distracting. When they had a meet coming up, he’d put on something exciting to get them pumped. And if one of them had had a rough day, Leo had a playlist for that, too.

The system got Guang Hong through his homework and papers, but it didn’t really help with the scariest parts of his business classes. Even as a sophomore, Guang Hong still wasn’t comfortable speaking up in class or in group projects.

“Just pretend you’re talking to me,” Leo had suggested with his easy smile. It was like something clicked, and little by little, Guang Hong’s grades reflected the change.

Eventually, Guang Hong got brave enough to join the Marketing Club. He didn’t make it to all the meetings (thanks to a demanding running schedule) but he hit the important events. The first lesson of business school was that it never hurt to make connections, and there were plenty of opportunities.

“Busy this Friday?” Guang Hong asked during a rerun he had seen half a dozen times.

“Nope,” Leo replied. “What’s up?”

“The Marketing Club is hosting this sales networking thing,” Guang Hong explained. “They’re having speeches and panels with recent graduates in professional sales from all over the country. There’s also a reception. I know you don’t want to go into sales or anything, but would you go with me? You can leave early if you have something else to do! Oh—there’s going to be free food!”

Leo smiled. “Of course I’ll go. I’d go with you even if they weren’t having food.”

Guang Hong grinned back. “It doesn’t hurt, though!”

The panels ended up being pretty useful (even Leo thought so). Guang Hong took notes on job hunting and making good impressions, all while trying extra hard to remember everyone’s names. Christophe G. from MicroTech was particularly positive and interesting (even though Guang Hong couldn’t begin to guess how to spell his last name).

“How do you deal with the intimidation factor as a new graduate?” someone asked during the Q&A session.

Anya from Trinity-Gardner was the first to answer. “Confidence is something you have to find for yourself. You can’t expect anyone to take you under their wing. Stand out, differentiate yourself, and prove your worth.” She already carried herself like an established professional despite only graduating last year. 

Guang Hong leaned over to whisper to Leo, “I could work for 40 years and still not have her confidence.”

Leo squeezed his hand. “You don’t need to be her. Just be you.”

And there was no better confidence boost than that.

“I would say, be open to learning after you graduate,” said Georgi from Cole Scientific, looking stern. “Most of your coworkers have been doing this longer than you have, and if you come in like a charging bull, you run the risk of alienating your customers and your boss.” Anya shot a look at him and Guang Hong got the feeling that this argument wasn’t over.

Christophe, whose eyelashes were so long they were visible even from the middle of the audience, pursed his lips. “That’s true, but at the end of the day, what really matters are the relationships you build with your customers. Lubricate those relationships in a way that works for you, even if that way is completely new to the company. Respect policies, of course, but don’t be afraid to break new ground.” He smiled out at the crowd while Georgi and Anya glared at each other. “One of my coworkers got hired fresh off his MBA last year, and he’s already posting the best sales numbers in the division.”

The moderator adjourned the session (with Georgi and Anya resuming their argument as soon as the mics were off) and everyone rushed the food.

“I hope you weren’t too bored,” said Guang Hong to Leo as they waited in line.

“No, it was good. I had fun watching you, too,” Leo replied. “It looked like you got a lot out of it.”

“It was pretty inspiring, especially what Christophe said.”

“Oh? Which part did you like?” drawled a deep voice from behind them. “Sorry to butt in, it’s just that I’ve been cursed with an insatiable thirst for praise.”

Guang Hong went scarlet. Christophe G. himself smiled down—a long, long way down—at him with heavy-lidded eyes.

“Oh, um…” Words failed Guang Hong and Leo’s hand came to rest on the small of his back.

“This is Guang Hong Ji, and he really enjoyed your talk,” said Leo.

Christophe extended a hand. “It’s lovely to meet you, Guang Hong.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too, Christophe,” Guang Hong stammered. Christophe had the softest hands he had ever touched and he smelled like flowers burning in an expensive fireplace. “This is Leo de la Iglesia.”

“Please, call me Chris.” Chris smiled, nodding at Leo, too. He batted his long, thick eyelashes. “Now tell me, what did you find inspiring? I’m simply dying to know.”

Guang Hong took strength from Leo’s hand, still warm on his back. “I liked what you said about building customer relationships.”

“It’s the most important part of our job!” Chris said, pressing a light touch to Guang Hong’s arm. “But I’m sure you’ll have no trouble building relationships. You two make the cutest couple I’ve ever seen.”

Just when Guang Hong had gotten the blush under control, it came back with a vengeance. “We’re not a couple.”

“Oh, really?” Chris tapped a finger to his lips. “That’s a shame. You two restored my faith in love after that little display.” He pointed that same finger at Georgi and Anya, who were still bickering. They were standing a lot closer together now, though.

Leo’s eyes went wide. “They’re a couple?”

“Not yet,” Chris mused. “I’m afraid it’s going to get ugly.”

Guang Hong frowned at the almost-couple. He couldn’t imagine conflict being a turn on, but he was more than happy to restore Chris’s faith in love. After all, there was more than one kind of love out there.

Chris scratched his chin. “I do want to pass Georgi’s resume to my boss, though. I think he’d be a good fit. Speaking of which…” Chris led Guang Hong and Leo over to where his fellow presenters were already eating, and before the night was through, Guang Hong had acquired a stack of business cards and a bunch of names to add on Facebook.

Even Leo got a few leads, including an involved conversation with a salesperson from a solar energy startup.

But when the student union employees started collecting chairs and sweeping up crumbs, it was time to go.

“So,” Chris began, dropping one hand on Leo’s shoulder and the other on Guang Hong’s, “the night is upon us. Do either of you delightful gentlemen have any recommendations?”

Leo arched an eyebrow. “Recommendations?”

“You know, a place one might go for drinking, dancing, and good-natured debauchery?” Chris winked, adding, “Platonically speaking, of course.”

Guang Hong shook his head. “Sorry, can’t help you there.” He hadn’t even been to a club yet, and he had rejected Keung’s numerous offers to mail him a fake ID.

Leo hadn’t. Guang Hong and Chris both looked at him.

“You want Boulevard on South College,” Leo said. “Good music.”

“That sounds ideal.” Chris pulled them both close to his body. His abs were rock hard and Guang Hong couldn’t stop that persistent blush from creeping back up his neck. “Care to join us?”

“I have to write a paper tomorrow,” said Guang Hong. He was almost grateful. If he went out with Chris, that darned blush might become permanent.

“I can’t either, but thanks,” said Leo, keeping his eyes on Guang Hong.

“Such a shame,” Chris tutted, letting them go. “It was lovely meeting you both.” Nodding at Guang Hong, he said, “Let’s keep in touch on Facebook. You should call me when you graduate.”

“I will!” Guang Hong promised, hoping his reluctance to go out wouldn’t limit his job prospects.

Chris turned to Leo and said, “And you should call me when you get him to go out dancing with you. I want pictures.” His eyes lingered on the two of them for a moment longer before he heaved a sigh in Georgi and Anya’s direction. “Just to remind me that there’s still some good in the world.”

With that, he headed back to his peers and Guang Hong and Leo headed back to the dorms.

“Thanks for coming out with me,” Guang Hong said once they were out of earshot. “I hope it wasn’t a waste of a Friday night.”

“No way,” said Leo. “I had a good time.”

Guang Hong glanced at his phone. It was only 10:30. “You could still go out if you wanted to.”

Leo shook his head. “No thanks. Besides, I get the feeling your new friend Chris is in for a long night.”

Guang Hong chuckled and they walked on in cozy silence. Students milled around them, some dressed to go out and some dressed to go study. Guang Hong was just happy to go home.

“It doesn’t bother me that you don’t go out dancing with me,” Leo said as they approached their building. “I know it’s not really your thing.”

“I don’t know, I think it’d be fun to go with you sometime. Just not tonight.” Nothing was scary with Leo at his side, but he could only imagine how touchy-feely Chris would get with a few drinks in him. Plus, just being around Anya and Georgi had filled his drama quotient for the year. “I just don’t think I’m ready to party with technical salespeople yet.” He didn’t know if he’d ever be ready.

Leo laughed. “I understand. Then we’ll definitely go together, any time you want.”

“I’d like that!” Guang Hong exclaimed, his stomach light. “If you say the music’s good, it must be amazing.”

They had reached their dorm. Guang Hong unlocked their door and held it open for Leo, but Leo shook his head.

“I’ll be right there. Gotta make a call.”

“Okay,” said Guang Hong. He ended up watching Iron Chef by himself. Leo had missed squid ink ice cream, but Guang Hong would fill him in later.

He tried to wait up, but it would have to wait until tomorrow, because Leo didn’t come back until after Guang Hong was asleep.

Years later, Guang Hong would find out that night was just one of many times Leo had stood up a date for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A prayer for Leo, who knows not how bad he’s got it.
> 
> I was not the first person to coin “Jiglesia” but it sure flows off the tongue better than any other ship name for these two.


	12. making the most of the night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An international border and a family vacation won't stop Guang Hong from being there when Leo needs him.

Of all the times for Guang Hong’s family to take a vacation, it had to be when Leo needed him most. 

Nova Scotia was pretty, but it was awfully cold for a summer vacation. At least the tidal pools in the Bay of Fundy were fascinating, but not fascinating enough to stop Guang Hong from reaching into his pocket when his phone buzzed. 

_ Crap _ , he thought,  _ I was supposed to turn my phone off! _ But it was too late now, so he figured he might as well check it.

Guang Hong almost dropped his phone in a tide pool when he saw the text was from Leo.

_ Im ok call me wen u can _

He had to check the name again, because that was the sort of text Keung sent when he was stoned. Leo didn’t text like that.

Guang Hong’s heart pounded in his ears, louder than the wind that whipped his hair this way and that. He and Leo had chatted every morning and every night of the trip so far, but that was back in the hotel room where there was a laptop and an Ethernet cable to make it economical. Texts and calls meant roaming charges, but Leo wouldn’t have texted him if it wasn’t important. 

This had to be an emergency.  Guang Hong didn’t hesitate any longer. Fingers shaking, he pulled up Leo’s number and made the international call. He’d pay his parents back.

“Leo? What’s wrong?” Guang Hong asked, poor reception and wind cut his voice into static.

“Hey, Guang Hong. Um, don’t freak out, but I’m in the hospital.”

“The hospital?!” Guang Hong hoped that was just the wind playing tricks on his ears. 

“Yeah. Wild, huh?” Leo sounded as relaxed as ever, but Guang Hong’s heart lurched to his throat. 

“What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” said Leo. “Except I guess I kinda need emergency knee surgery.”

“Oh my god...” Guang Hong couldn't process it. 

“It’s okay! Don’t worry about me. The doctor said my knee will probably recover and I can totally run again in like, two to six months.”

He must have been on some strong painkillers to sound so calm.

“Guang Hong!” called his mom. “What are you doing on your phone? I told you to leave it in the hotel!”

“It’s Leo, Mom!” Guang Hong yelled back, putting his hand over the speaker. 

“Hi, Mrs. Ji!” Leo said, as if she could hear him. “Sorry for interrupting the vacation!”

“It’s okay,” Guang Hong said into the phone. “You’re going to be fine.”

“I know. I’m more worried about you, Jiglesia. You sound upset.”

Guang Hong’s heart clenched at the nickname. He had to be strong for Leo. “I’ll be okay. You’ll be okay. Everything will be okay. But keep taking your meds. It sounds like they gave you the good stuff.” He forced a laugh.

“Keung’s gonna be so jealous,” Leo said with a chuckle. “I’m high as a fucking kite.”

Guang Hong could just barely hear Leo’s mom scolding him for his language on the other end of the line. At least Leo wasn’t alone.

But Guang Hong should have been there. He needed to be there now. He needed to be doing something to help Leo.

“Don’t feel guilty, okay?” Leo said. It was just like him, to worry about Guang Hong when he was the one in the hospital. “I can tell you’re blaming yourself, but the guy ran a stop sign. ”

Guang Hong’s heart stopped. “You got hit by a car?!” 

Had he been running or driving? Did that even matter? Either way, he could have been killed. Leo had only mentioned his knee, but he sounded pretty out of it. Visions of him in full body traction flashed through Guang Hong’s head and he couldn’t breathe.

“Hang up now!” Guang Hong’s mother demanded, charging his way. “Do you know how much this call is costing us?” 

“Leo’s in the hospital, Mom!” The words burst out of Guang Hong’s mouth with a fire that even he wasn’t expecting. His mother’s face fell, and his father looked up from where he was crouched over the tide pool. 

“Whoa,” Leo breathed. He spoke with an ethereal sort of calm, like a shot of tranquilizer to Guang Hong’s heart. “Hey, it’ll be okay. I promise. We can talk later, when you’re back in your hotel.”

“Okay,” Guang Hong said. “Call me if anything changes. I’ll answer. I’ll pay.”

“I love you,” said Leo, casual and easy, like he said it all the time. 

Guang Hong forced himself to swallow, pushing past the lump in his throat. “Love you, too, Jiglesia.”

Leo was still laughing when he hung up. Guang Hong lowered the phone from his ear and stared at it. He couldn’t believe any of this was real. 

“Is Leo all right?” his mother asked, eyebrows knitted in concern.

Guang Hong nodded. “He needs knee surgery.”

His mother’s mouth fell open. “Oh, that poor boy. I’m...” She took in Guang Hong’s stricken face and enveloped him in a hug. “I’m sure he can recover. He’s strong, and he’s got you.” 

Guang Hong closed his eyes tight, tears working their way out as his mother blocked the wind from biting his ears. Leo would recover, but he loved running. He lived for it. Recovery could put him out for an entire season, or longer.

And what if he didn’t recover? What if he could never run again? 

_ Don’t think about that now, _ Guang Hong told himself. Right now, Leo just needed to get through surgery. Guang Hong would be there to support him during his recovery. 

Leo had sounded okay on the phone—more worried about Guang Hong than himself, as usual—but what would happen when the drugs wore off? What if he had a breakdown? His family was there but they didn’t understand. They didn’t run. 

Guang Hong had to be there, now. 

“I need to go home,” Guang Hong said. 

His mother and father exchanged a look. 

“I’ll pay for the flight,” Guang Hong went on. He had money saved. “And then you can have a nice, romantic vacation without me.”

“I know you’re worried about Leo,” his father began, and Guang Hong could tell he was choosing his words carefully. “But I’m sure his family is with him.”

“And they have a store to run,” Guang Hong pointed out. But that wasn’t even the most important part. “Leo’s going to need help around the house when he gets discharged, and I should be there for him! He’s my best friend.”

There was some back and forth, but Guang Hong’s parents were fully aware of how stubborn he was about anything involving Leo, and he was waiting for a flight at Halifax Stanfield airport later that day.

“At least they’ll take care of each other after we’re gone,” his mother had said to his father before they parted ways at the security checkpoint. Guang Hong probably wasn’t supposed to hear it, but it was true.

Guang Hong knew in his heart that he and Leo were going to be in each other’s lives forever, and anyone else who wanted to be in their lives was going to have to accept it.

He didn’t even go home after landing at O’hare. Leo would have just gotten out of surgery, so he took the family car from long-term parking straight to the hospital.

“Guang Hong?” Leo blinked up at him from the hospital bed. “Am I hallucinating or dreaming?”

“I’m really here, Leo,” said Guang Hong, chucking despite himself. “I told you I was coming.”

“I thought I dreamed that, too.” Leo must have still been on painkillers. “It’s really you?” 

“Really me.” Guang Hong sat down on the edge of the bed and smiled. “Sorry I didn’t bring flowers or anything.”

“Don’t need flowers when I’ve got you,” Leo replied. Leo reached for Guang Hong’s hand, and as soon as he took it, Guang Hong could finally relax. 

“How was the surgery?”

Leo shrugged. “I don’t remember. But my knee was _fucked_ _up_. The doctor said I shattered it. There were bones sticking out.”

Guang Hong shuddered.  _ Shattered _ sounded horrible, and Leo must have been in so much pain. “But it sounds like they’ve got you on the good stuff,” he said, squeezing Leo’s hand.

“You’re the good stuff,” Leo replied. “I was kinda bummed because the doctor said I might not be able to compete anymore. But now that you’re here, I feel better!”

Guang Hong’s mouth fell open. There had to be some mistake. Maybe he had misheard Leo. 

“Sheesh, don’t make that face,” Leo said. “It’s not like I’m dead.”

“Right,” Guang Hong stammered. He nodded, resolving to be positive for his best friend. If the doctor said he  _ might _ not be able to complete, then there was a chance he would, too. “Anything you need, I’m here for you.”

“I know you are.” Leo beamed up at Guang Hong like he was some kind of hero, and said, “I love you, Jiglesia.” Simple and natural, just like on the phone. 

Guang Hong’s reply came just as easily. “I love you, too.” He didn’t see Leo’s mothers watching them from the door with relieved smiles on their faces. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the injury. Leo's going to be fine.


	13. distance running

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When stops working, Leo embarks on something new.

Leo only let Guang Hong help him around the house for a couple of days. He refused to fill his painkiller prescription (“ibuprofen is _fine_ ”) and his physical therapist said he was the best patient she had ever seen.

But even though Leo was walking fine when the new semester rolled around, he still hadn’t been cleared to run, let alone compete again. The settlement from the accident was a silver lining, leaving Leo with plenty of money to pay for school even without his scholarship, but it wasn’t the same.

Of course, Leo tried to shrug it off. “There’s always next season.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Guang Hong asked. They were celebrating being packed and ready to go back to school with video games and candy, but Leo winced when he sat down on Guang Hong’s floor. He didn’t say it, but his knee still bothered him.

“It’s fine. I have some prerequisites to catch up on for my new major so I’ll need the time to study.” Leo had changed his major to Environmental Policy so he had a whole new regimen of classes next semester. “Maybe I’ll try to find an internship.”

“That would be great!” Guang Hong said, nodding encouragingly. 

Leo smiled back. “But I’ll still come watch you run,” he promised.

“You don’t have to do that,” said Guang Hong, even though he would have insisted on doing the same thing for Leo.

But every home meet Leo attended, every time he congratulated Guang Hong’s stagnant times, his smile faded a little more. Guang Hong pretended that he was doing his best, too, but they both knew the truth. Running without each other wasn’t the same. They didn’t talk about it, but they talked about everything else: schoolwork, movies, games, early morning insights into the meaning of life, food, music…

Guang Hong didn’t feel like talking about running when Leo couldn’t run, and Leo didn’t bring it up, either. But it did confirm one thing for Guang Hong: with or without running, he and Leo were still best friends. 

When Leo’s doctor cleared him to train again, it was hard not to overdose on hope. They started slow, but jogging next to Leo felt better than winning a race (which he hadn’t managed to do this season). 

“It feels good,” Leo panted. He laughed off his wheezing. “Actually, it hurts like hell, but it feels good to be out here with you.”

“You’ll work your way back up,” Guang Hong assured him. His own heart rate was barely elevated, but running with Leo always gave him a different sort of rush. 

“It’s kind of nice, though,” Leo began (once he could breathe again), “to just be out here with you. No competition. No pressure. Just us.”

“Yeah,” Guang Hong agreed. And he wondered when running had stopped being about pushing himself. 

They could never jog for long—as much as he tried to hide it, Leo’s knee would eventually get so sore that Guang Hong would pretend that he was the one who needed a break, and then Leo would start apologizing for holding Guang Hong back. He wasn’t, but they both knew Leo wouldn’t be competing any time soon. 

Suddenly, running was getting in the way of their friendship instead of pushing it forward.

For the first time ever, Guang Hong didn’t know what to say to Leo, but he came back to their room to find Leo sitting at his desk, gaping at his computer.

“Everything okay?” Guang Hong asked, putting his backpack in the corner.

“Yeah.” Leo shuddered, dazed. Concerned, Guang Hong sat down next to him and he went on. “I got an internship.”

“That’s great!” Guang Hong threw his arms around Leo. “I’m so happy for you! Which one?”

Leo returned the hug, letting out a shaky breath. “It’s the one in China.” 

“Whoa.” Leo had applied for a lot of internships, including some international ones. This one was about as far away from IU as possible. Guang Hong’s heart gave a pang—he would miss Leo more than words could say—but he burst into a grin. “Awesome! You’ve been practicing your Chinese!”

Leo closed his eyes for a moment and tightened the embrace, but when he opened his eyes, he was smiling down at Guang Hong. “It’s cool, right?”

“It’s  _ so _ cool!” That smile and that hug warmed Guang Hong from the inside out, warm enough to loosen the little knot that had been pulled taut in his stomach for weeks now. “That was for a non-profit, right? You’ll actually be making the world a better place, just like you dreamed!”

“Yeah,” Leo said, like he wasn’t entirely convinced. He repeated the word, louder and more confidently, then added, “Gonna miss you, though.”

Leo ran a hand over Guang Hong’s head, smoothing down his hair. Had he ever done that before? It felt different, but not bad, and now Guang Hong was the one shivering.

“I’ll miss you, too,” he said, pressing his head to Leo’s chest. Leo’s heart was beating fast and Guang Hong’s heart began to race to keep up. Always in sync, even when they weren’t running. Being on opposite ends of the planet wouldn’t change that, and Leo needed something that was his and his alone. “We can Skype every day. And hey, it’s not too far from where my grandparents live. Maybe I can visit you!” 

“I’d like that,” said Leo. “But you know it’s not until next semester, right?” 

“Of course,” chuckled Guang Hong. That didn’t stop them from holding on to each other until their heartbeats slowed to normal. Guang Hong smiled up at him one more time and Leo finally let go. 

Keung didn’t take the news nearly as well when Guang Hong mentioned it to him over winter break. 

“You’re not worried about him meeting someone else?” Keung wondered.

“Come on, you know it’s not like that,” Guang Hong said. “He’s about to spend a whole semester halfway across the world. I  _ want _ him to find someone else to hang out with.”

Or even someone to date—after all, their relationship wasn’t some Taylor Swift song.

Keung frowned. “You sure about that?” 

“Of course I’m sure.” Leo would be making tons of friends. That was the whole point of going abroad! Well, mostly. “Besides, he’s going there to work and learn, too.”

“Sure, but don’t blame me when he comes back engaged.”

Guang Hong laughed out loud. The idea of Leo getting engaged any time soon was ridiculous. 

“Well, if that happens I’ll plan him an amazing bachelor party,” said Guang Hong.

Keung shook his head. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.” 

Most nights, he slept just fine, but the night Leo left for China, Guang Hong didn’t sleep until Leo called to say he landed safely. He didn’t sleep  _ well _ until Leo had internet access in his apartment and they could talk every day, like they always did. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is way backdated but happy birthday, Leo!


	14. homesick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guang Hong and Leo spend a semester apart but together.

“Leo! I’m so glad you called!”

Leo’s grinning face cane into focus on Guang Hong’s monitor. He had his hair pulled up in a messy half-bun square on top of his head. Guang Hong always loved his hair like that, because he never wore that style out of the house. Almost no one else got to see it.

“Hey.” The video was a little choppy as Leo waved at the camera. “Hope it’s not too early.”

“Nah, I’ve been up.” Guang Hong said with a smile. He was happy for Leo, but sometimes he missed him so much it hurt. Sleeping in was getting harder and harder, but he kept that to himself. “How’s it going?”

“Oh man, I thought my Mandarin was getting better, but I got so lost coming back from the Folklore Museum today,” Leo said, rubbing his forehead. 

Guang Hong hid his face in his hands in sympathy. “Oh no! You could have called me, I would have helped you!” 

“It was 3 o’clock in the morning your time.”

Pouting, Guang Hong popped up from behind his hands. “I would have answered.” 

“I know. That’s why I didn’t call.” Leo didn’t say anything for a minute and Guang Hong wondered if the screen froze. “It’s all right, though. I have to figure this stuff out myself if I’m going to make it here.”

There was something strange about Leo’s voice, even through the tinny sound quality of his laptop speakers. It bothered Guang Hong that he couldn’t put his finger on it, but it had been months since they’d seen each other in person. That bothered him, too, but he brushed it aside. “Well, you did it, and I’m proud of you!”

“Thanks,” said Leo, relaxing into that smile Guang Hong loved so much. But then Leo shook his head. “It's just overwhelming sometimes. In a fun way, mostly. But I always look forward to talking to you.”

Guang Hong returned his smile. He understood  _ that _ feeling completely. “Me too.”

Leo stilled again. It had to be the connection. “I really miss you,” Leo said, slow and quiet. 

A sigh, puffed out of Guang Hong’s mouth before he realized it. He was homesick, too, because Leo was his home. “I miss you, too. But try not to dwell on it! I’d hate for you to miss out on anything because you’re homesick.” 

“ _Homesick_ ,” Leo repeated slowly. He looked deep in thought, and a piece of hair fell from his bun into his eyes. 

Guang Hong wanted to tuck it back in. He tried not to read too much into Leo’s weird expression and forced himself to keep smiling. “How was that international dinner?” 

Some of the tension left Leo’s shoulders. “Cool. I met this one guy. His name is Otabek, and he’s got great taste in music. We’re going to a club tomorrow.”

“Cool!” Guang Hong exclaimed a little too quickly. It sounded like Leo was finally making a friend, or maybe a boyfriend, but all Guang Hong could think about was how he said he’d go dancing with Leo and they never went.

_ He’ll be back. You still can. _

“Yeah,” said Leo, nodding too many times. 

And they just stared at each other for the next few minutes. Guang Hong would have bet his scholarship they were thinking the exact same thoughts— _I wish I could be there but I’m going to be strong for him_ —but neither of them said anything.

Calls either went like that—silently staring at each other and pretending they were in the same room—or talking about nothing until they both fell asleep. 

Maybe it was the distance, but the longer Guang Hong looked at Leo’s face on his laptop screen, the more he noticed about Leo. Even with the grainy video quality, features that had never occurred to him before jumped out at him now: the way the skin around his eyes got all crinkly when he smiled, the subtle dimple on one of his cheeks, how wide his smile was, how full his lips were…

And if Guang Hong imagined kissing those lips, well, that was definitely just his lonely mind running away from him. 

Not that he didn’t have other friends to keep him company. Guang Hong hung out with his friends from the team and classes and went to Marketing Club like always. His new roommate John was nice enough not to roll his eyes when Guang Hong and Leo sighed at each other over Skype calls (at least not where Guang Hong could see him). 

His running times were fair to middling, but lately, when Guang Hong thought about his future, he didn’t see himself running as anything but a hobby. He saw himself in some sort of business job, maybe technical marketing for a company with a global presence, and he saw himself with Leo. 

“Guang Hong,” Leo began, in a soft, low voice that made Guang Hong glad he was alone in the room. “Is it okay if I go out with Otabek? I mean, do you think I should?”

The question caught Guang Hong off guard. He meant  _ go out _ as in  _ date.  _ It was okay, of course it was, and Leo didn’t need permission, but it still left a strange feeling in Guang Hong’s stomach.

“You should! I don’t want you to be lonely,” Guang Hong finally replied. “You don’t have to ask.”

Leo smiled at him, but there was something off about his smile, too. “Cool. I guess I just wanted you to know. You’re still the most important person in my life.”

That was all it was. They missed being involved in each other’s lives, and this was Leo’s way of including Guang Hong. 

And maybe it was time for Guang Hong to try dating again, too. Maybe that was why he was so lonely. 

“Well, I should go get ready,” Guang Hong said.

Leo nodded. “And I should get to bed.” 

They bid each other goodbye and Guang Hong took a long, hot shower and thought about Leo.

He went on a few dates, but it didn’t go anywhere. Leo and Otabek decided they were better off as friends, and Guang Hong was only relieved because Leo desperately needed friends. He wasn’t upset when Leo started dating Mingmei, another intern at his work, but he didn’t mention it to Keung. Guang Hong would never hear the end of it.

“She broke up with me,” Leo told Guang Hong a few weeks later. “She didn’t want to get involved with someone who was leaving in a few weeks.”

“I’m sorry.” Guang Hong meant it, too. She had seemed nice, but he couldn’t be upset when Leo was coming home so soon. Leo didn’t seem upset, either.

“Please don’t go get high,” Leo said with a laugh. “I can’t smoke here, anyway.”

“Rain check?” Guang Hong offered. 

Leo shook his head. “No way. When I get home, we’ll have so many better things to do than get high.”

Guang Hong flopped down on his bed, holding his laptop above his face. “I can’t wait. I want to watch so many movies with you, and there’s at least six new restaurants I want to take you to.”

“I want to run with you,” Leo said, smile brighter than the sunlight peeking into Guang Hong’s room. “And I just want to talk to you without a lag.”

“Me too.”

“I can’t wait to touch you again,” said Leo. He hid his face. “Sorry if that’s weird.”

“It’s not weird,” Guang Hong replied. “I want to touch you, too. Hug you and stuff.”

They went back to talking about their days after that, what they did and ate and heard. 

When they hung up, John’s face appeared over the side of the bed, hanging upside down over the top bunk. “It’s a little weird.”

“What is?” Guang Hong shut his laptop and frowned in confusion.

“Wanting to touch your best friend. Are you sure you guys don’t like each other?”

Guang Hong assured him it wasn’t like that. John was just another person who didn’t understand. Leo was the most important person in Guang Hong’s life, and he wasn’t afraid to show it in physical ways. He wasn’t going to apologize for it any more, either.

And when Leo finally came home, they hugged for a good ten minutes before either of them said anything. Tears clung to Guang Hong’s eyelashes and Leo’s eyes were shining. 

“I missed you so much.” 

It didn’t even register at first that Leo had said the words in Chinese, and then Guang Hong started crying in earnest. 

“Next time you go across the globe, I’m coming with you,” Guang Hong cried, squeezing Leo tighter.

“I wouldn’t go without you,” Leo promised.

And from that moment on, they never spent more than a few days apart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday, Leo!


	15. that funny feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guang Hong and Leo embark on their senior year.

Senior year saw Leo and Guang Hong sharing an apartment. It was harder to sleep without the steady rhythm of Leo’s breathing in the other bunk, but having his own room was all right. Leo could go out to clubs without worrying about waking Guang Hong up when he came home late.

He hadn’t been to a club in a long time though. Most nights, he was home studying or gaming with Guang Hong. That was another perk of having an apartment—their friends came to them. Guang Hong only competed in one event and Leo only ran for exercise, but they still had lots of mutual friends from the track team. At least once a week, the apartment was bustling with friends, food, and music, to the point where their apartment was becoming a famous place to hang out.

Other rumors were spreading, too.  


Like when Guang Hong started clicking with his International Business Law project group and invited them to his apartment that weekend, Amber said, “Awesome! I hear you and your boyfriend throw the best parties.”

“Who told you that?” Guang Hong asked, blushing. 

“Everyone says so,” said Colby. “You guys are couple goals.”

Guang Hong laughed and turned to them. “He’s my best friend, not my boyfriend.”

“No shit?” Colby sounded genuinely surprised. 

“You’re not the first people to assume,” Guang Hong admitted. “It’s been like that ever since high school.”

“So you’ve never...” Colby made a circle with their thumb and index finger, then stuck their other finger through it. It took Guang Hong a minute to figure out what they were implying. 

“No!” He shook his head rapidly, as if he could shake the memory of his occasional racy Leo dreams from his mind. “No, we’re just friends, I swear.”

Amber and Colby looked disappointed, but they perked up when he told them Leo would be making wings from scratch. 

Another thing their parties were famous for was Keung (and his weed) He visited every few weeks, camping on their couch until his mom hounded Guang Hong to send him back home. 

Guang Hong didn’t mind people smoking in his apartment. Plenty of his friends didn’t smoke, so they’d break off into little groups and do their own things. Usually, Leo stayed with him, arm slung around his shoulder as they played board games and drank or snacked but tonight, he was nowhere to be found. 

Guang Hong figured he was smoking. No big deal. He didn’t need Leo to play Dominion, but once his turn was finished, his beer hit him all at once. Guang Hong grinned sheepishly at his friends. “I’m gonna go pee.”

He made his way down the hall, then Leo’s bedroom door opened and he almost jumped out of his skin. Leo emerged with a brown-haired guy, about Guang Hong’s height—Phillip, he remembered. Both of them looked thoroughly disheveled.

“Oh hey, there you are!” Guang Hong said.

“Guang Hong! We were just...I was…” Leo seemed spooked; he almost never struggled for words. Keung must have brought some strong stuff tonight, or maybe he was flustered from whatever he and Phillip had been doing.

“Hey! You must be Guang Hong!” Phillip said, grinning. “It’s great to meet you, we were just—”

“No need to explain!” said Guang Hong brightly. “I’ll catch you both later, okay?” 

He charged off to the bathroom (because he had to go pretty badly), but even after he was done, something still bothered him. Phillip seemed perfectly nice, if a little excitable. So why was Leo embarrassed about being caught making out with him? And why did Guang Hong still feel all weird? 

It was probably the beer. He didn’t drink much, and he was definitely done for tonight. 

But when he went back to his game, Leo didn’t come and sit next to him. He didn’t put his arm around him. He hovered next to Phillip until almost everyone else had gone home, talking and smiling slyly. 

Later that night, Guang Hong and Leo cleaned up together in a comfortable silence, but the next day, Leo was gone before Guang Hong woke up, and he didn’t come home until long after Guang Hong went to bed. He started going to clubs again, too, and even though it made for some lonely nights, Guang Hong was glad Leo was having fun.

A few weeks later, Leo told him he and Phillip were dating for real. It was a relief, if only because things got a little bit closer to normal. Leo was around more during the day, and they fell right back into their TV schedule like nothing had changed. That was the best thing about their friendship. No matter what was going on in their lives, they were always there for each other. 

“Hey, do you mind if Phillip spends the night tongiht?” Leo asked over cereal one Friday morning. “His landlord wants to show his apartment first thing in the morning tomorrow.”

“Of course I don’t mind,” Guang Hong said. “He can stay any time.” 

“Yeah?” Leo chewed thoughtfully, then added, “It’s not, you know, weird?”

“Why would it be?” 

He didn’t get an answer right away. Leo took his time finishing his cereal, then shrugged and said, “Never mind.” 

By then Guang Hong was done, too, and Leo cleaned up both of their dishes. He wiped down the table, then the counter, then washed his hands for a full thirty seconds (Guang Hong counted). Finally, while drying his hands on a towel, he smiled at Guang Hong. 

“He’s never seen  _ Donnie Darko.  _ We can all watch it tonight.”

That sounded perfect.

And it was: sharing pretzels with Leo (Phillip had celiac disease, so he had chips instead), sitting together on the couch, making jokes about their classes and talking about the movie. He let Leo try the Blue Raspberry Fanta his uncle sent from Toronto (Phillip declined a taste). 

When the credits rolled, Phillip caught Guang Hong’s eye as if to say  _ privacy, please. _ Guang Hong faked a yawn and stood up. “Well, I’m off to bed. Good night, guys.”

Leo frowned. “But it’s only eleven.”

“I, uh, got up early this morning,” Guang Hong lied, glancing at Phillip. 

“Oh.” Leo looked confused. “I didn’t hear you.” 

“Yeah, I read a book in my room. Anyway, see you in the morning.” Guang Hong stretched his arms over his head to sell it a little better, then headed off to brush his teeth before retiring to his room. That weird feeling was back. Why was Leo so intent on keeping him around? Did he not feel safe with Phillip? He seemed like a nice guy.

Worry twisted Guang Hong’s stomach and he texted Leo:  _ You okay? _

_ Fine. J _ _ ust want to make sure you are.  _

Guang Hong smiled in relief. Of course. Leo was just worried he would be lonely! He assured Leo he’d be fine and flipped through a graphic novel, waiting to get sleepy. 

By the time Phillip and Leo went to bed, he was on the next volume, and their hushed voices carried through the hallway. 

“So, Guang Hong...is he seeing anybody?”

“No, he’s not really interested in anyone like that.” 

“You sure?”

Leo didn’t respond right away, and when he did, he sounded tired. “Yeah. I’m sure.”

They were silent for the rest of the night, but that funny feeling in Guang Hong’s gut didn’t go away until the next morning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are in the home stretch now! Thanks for sticking with the story. I bumped the rating up because there are a lot of drug references and some innuendo, hope that’s okay. Anyway, the next chapter is my favorite! I hope you like it.


	16. shotgun approach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things come to a head at Guang Hong and Leo's party.

Things never stayed awkward for long when it came to Leo and Guang Hong, and Phillip started hanging out at their apartment more nights than not. He and Guang Hong weren’t close or anything, but they got along well enough to satisfy Leo, and a new normal was setting in.

That is, until Keung showed up for their party a few weeks later. For some reason, he would not stop staring at Phillip and Leo. The couple had been talking in hushed tones in a corner all night, but Leo flashed a reassuring smile every time Guang Hong caught his eye, so he wasn’t worried. Guang Hong figured it was just Keung being weird, and he really didn’t want to know. 

But Keung was determined when he wanted to be, and he finally cornered Guang Hong in the kitchen. 

“Dude, doesn’t something about Phillip seem a little familiar to you?” Keung asked.

“What do you mean?” Guang Hong pulled a two liter bottle of Coke out of the fridge and poured himself a cup. “We hang out sometimes. Of course he’s familiar.”

Keung shook his head. “I’m talking about the way he looks. The way he talks. His mannerisms. Don’t you notice anything...funny?”

Was Keung worried about Leo? Phillip was a good guy. “Well, he’s not really my type, if that’s what you mean.”

“Uh…” Keung laughed even though no one had said anything funny. “Uh, from where I’m standing, he is  _ exactly _ your type.”

Did Guang Hong even have a type? How did Keung know what it was if he didn’t even know himself?

“Well…” Guang Hong began, frowning in thought. “It’s a little shallow, but I’d probably go for someone a little taller than me.” Leo always got things down from high shelves for him, and Guang Hong fit so snugly in his arms when they hugged. “Maybe someone a bit calmer, too. Phillip’s a little high strung.” If he had to live with someone other than Leo for the rest of his life (an outcome he didn’t even want to think about), he’d want an easygoing guy to balance him out. 

“Oh my god, do you even hear yourself?” Keung retorted. “I’m not even high right now! You really don’t see it?”

“See what?” 

It wouldn’t be the first time Keung had lied about being high, but he seemed sober when he threw his hands in the air and glared at Guang Hong.

“Forget it. I give up.” 

“Give up on what?” 

“I’ve been trying for years, but you guys are just gonna have to figure this out on your own.”

Shaking his head, Keung stormed out of the kitchen and Guang Hong followed, even more confused than before. 

“Figure  _ what _ out, Keung? Why are you being so weird?”

“ _ I’m _ a weirdo?” Keung cried, whirling around. “Your best friend is banging your doppelgänger and you think  _ I’m  _ the weird one?”

_ What? _ Guang Hong couldn’t even get the word out. Keung had shouted loud enough for the whole room to hear. 

Leo, Phillip, and everyone in the living room was staring at them. Keung clapped a hand over his mouth. He leaned closer to Guang Hong and whispered, too loud, “When I said I wasn’t high, what I meant I was, I’m not  _ that _ high.”

“What did you mean  _ about Leo?”  _ Guang Hong hissed back. Maybe he had misheard Keung. Phillip didn't even look or act like him, and if he did, it was just a coincidence.

“Nothing! You know how I run my mouth.” Keung slapped his own hand and added, “That darn Keung, always saying the darndest things.”

But no one heard him because the room was abuzz with mumbled gossip. Guang Hong stared at Phillip, who was staring back at him. 

They did have similar hair. And they were both short, and energetic. Come to think of it, didn’t Phillip run? He even had freckles...

One glance at Leo and Guang Hong knew he was seeing it for the first time, too. 

So it was just a coincidence.

Except…

“What the hell?” Phillip faced Leo. “Is he talking about us?”

Keung shook his head wildly. “Between you and me, Phil, I smoke  _ way _ too much and there’s probably been some  _ permanent _ damage, if you know what I mean.”

“No, you’re right.” Phillip spoke slowly, seething. “There was always something that bothered me about you and Guang Hong.”

No.  _ No. _ Not this again! Guang Hong shook his head and took a bold step toward Phillip. “I’m so sick of people using our friendship as an excuse for their own messes!” he shouted. “Keung doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but if you can’t handle us being close, that’s on  _ you _ .” 

“Close?” Phillip scoffed. “You two have a whole secret language. You cuddle on the couch right in front of me. You share food. You probably sleep in the same bed when I’m not here.”

“We don’t!” Leo and Guang Hong said at once. The other stuff was just normal for them, and anyone who didn’t like it didn’t deserve Leo! Guang Hong lunged forward, but Leo’s warm arms caught him around the middle. 

“I’m done, Leo,” Phillip said bitterly as he stomped away. “I’m not going to be some stand in because you want to fuck your best friend.”

Leo let go and took off after him. Guang Hong wanted to stop Leo. He almost wished Keung had never said anything, but it was better to know the truth.

“That’s not fair,” Leo protested. “I swear, it wasn’t—I wasn’t trying to—”

“I really don’t care,” Phillip spat, brushing Leo off. He shoved his feet into his shoes and threw the door open. “You’ve got shit to figure out and I want nothing to do with it.”

He was too rude for Leo, too, because he slammed the door behind him. Uncomfortable silence stretched out in his wake before people started making polite conversation again.

But Leo, Guang Hong, and Keung were quiet much longer. Leo couldn’t even look at Guang Hong, but he glared at Keung, upper lip curled. “Why are you always here when I get dumped?”

“To bring you up when you’re down?” Keung offered, flicking his lighter. 

Sulking, Leo sighed in resignation. “Roll me one.”

“Leo…” Guang Hong tried to touch his arm while Keung sat down and started rolled him a joint, but Leo just shook his head.

“Please, don’t. I don’t want to talk about it.” Leo closed his eyes and sat down next to Keung, leaning back against the wall. “And you don’t have to smoke.”

“I mean, I did promise,” Guang Hong stammered.

When Leo finally regarded him, he looked like he was scolding a child. “It makes you sick.”

“That was a fluke,” Keung said, finishing his work. “This is quality shit. I’ve come a long way since high school.”

Keung and Guang Hong had very different ideas of what it meant to come a long way, but his mind was made up. Leo needed him. “I’ll give it another try.”

“Don’t!” Leo shouted. Everyone else was ignoring them now, but Guang Hong gaped at him, tears stinging his eyes. Leo must have startled himself, too, because he lowered his voice. “Don’t do it because you feel sorry for me. Don’t make me feel like this is my fault.”

“I make my own decisions,” Guang Hong said. As close as they were, he wasn’t responsible for Leo’s emotions, but Leo couldn’t tell him how to feel, either. “I just want to be there for you.”

“You are.” Leo was almost too quiet now. “You scared the shit out of me last time. I thought you were going to die.”

“No one dies from smoking weed,” said Keung, lighting the blunt and passing it to Leo. “It’s just the paranoia! Look at him. Guang Hong is fine. I mean, you sure seem to think so, anyway.”

“Shut up,” said Leo and Guang Hong at once.

Guang Hong plopped down next to Leo and muttered, “Let’s just do this.”

“Don’t do it because you’re mad at me!” Leo argued. He took a deep hot and let the smoke out in a billowing puff before passing it back to Keung. 

Guang Hong narrowed his eyes. “Contrary to what everyone thinks, not every decision I make revolves around you.”

“I never said they did.” Leo blinked and leaned back again, like talking was getting harder. “But this one does.”

Maybe it did, partly. But Guang Hong still didn’t know how he felt about everything that had happened tonight. He couldn’t remember being this angry at Leo before, or at all. “Did it occur to you,” he said, voice low, “that this is just as weird for me as it is for you, and I don’t want to think about it tonight?” 

Leo didn’t respond. Guang Hong wasn’t sure if it was because he was thinking or just because he was already high. 

Guang Hong snatched the joint from Keung and took a hit. It didn’t make him sick this time; he didn’t even cough. Maybe the few contact highs he had gotten from Keung had desensitized him, or maybe it was just his bad mood. 

But was it really that bad? As he say there, he realized he actually felt pretty good. What were he and Leo fighting about? Were they even fighting?

Oh, right. Leo’s boyfriend—no, ex-boyfriend looked just like Guang Hong. Acted like him, too. Guang Hong started to giggle, so hard he could barely get the words out. “Phillip thought we wanted to  _ fuck _ each other?” 

Leo inhaled through his teeth. “He did.”

“Don’t you?” Keung asked them. 

“Not particularly,” said Guang Hong. 

Leo took longer to think about it, because he was higher. “Nah.”

Of course Leo didn’t want to fuck each other, because they wouldn’t fuck, would they? They would  _ make love _ , slow and soft, like in his dreams. They would turn his bed (or Leo’s bed, or the kitchen counter, or wherever) into a place of worship and take their sweet time getting to know every inch of each other’s bodies by heart, and oh  _ god,  _ Guang Hong hoped he wasn’t saying this stuff out loud.

“Did I just say something?” Guang Hong asked. 

“No, but you did just ask if you said something,” Leo replied. Did marijuana always make Leo’s cheeks red like that?

“You and Phillip were never gonna work, anyway.” Keung had the blunt now. “Just like you and my sister never would’ve worked, and you and that other dude never would’ve worked, and that one chick, or that other guy…”

“We get it,” Guang Hong cut in, his gut twisting in a funny way. He didn’t feel sick, but he didn’t feel good, either. Maybe he needed to smoke again. “Leo’s been with a lot of people.” 

Leo leaned back, his head hitting the wall with a  _ thud.  _ “Not that many…”

“You okay?” Guang Hong asked, his pang of jealousy—that’s what it was: jealousy—turning into concern. 

“Fine.” Leo chuckled. “Quit hogging, Keung.” 

Keung tried to pass to him, but Guang Hong intercepted it, possessed by a sudden stroke of brilliance. “Leo, wait! I wanna try something.”

Carefully, deliberately, he turned the blunt backward and looked at Leo, who stared back at him, mouth agape like he knew what was about to happen. Of course he did; they shared a brain, and now they were going to share this weed. Guang Hong raised it to his lips. He blew out. Leo breathed in. A shudder ripped through Guang Hong even though he wasn’t the one who took the hit. Holy shit, being stoned felt  _ amazing. _

Leo pulled back and held Guang Hong’s gaze. If Guang Hong died then and there, he'd die happy. He never wanted this moment to end.

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me,” Keung moaned. They weren’t listening. 

Guang Hong pushed Leo’s hair behind his ear. He must have just colored it, because there was a little patch of red on his earlobe. He always made a mess when he did it alone. Guang Hong licked his finger and tried to rub the red off.

Leo blinked at him slowly. “What are you…?” 

“You’ve got a spot. I could have helped you dye your hair,” Guang Hong said, leaning in closer. Maybe the stain would come out if he sucked on it. He licked his lips. “Oh, wait. I shouldn’t do that.”

Leo reached up to take his hand, then turned to face him. “No. You really, really shouldn’t.” Barely even a whisper, he added, “Not tonight. Not now.”

Their noses were touching. Had they ever been this close before? Of course they had. This was  _ Leo _ ; they had been this close since the day they met. Best friends. So close that Leo wanted a boyfriend who looked just like him. So close that Leo wanted...so close that Guang Hong wanted…

Keung let out a strangled noise. “Are you guys finally gonna kiss?!”

Wait. _Were_ they?

“No,” Guang Hong said, drawing back. Kissing right now would have been wrong. He just wanted to suck on Leo’s ear. To get the hair dye off. 

“Bad,” Leo shook his head. “Hair dye isn’t food, Guang Hong. Don’t eat it.”

Keung started to laugh. “What are you even talking about?”

Maybe this was a sign that Guang Hong needed a boyfriend. But every time he imagined it, all he could see was Leo. Leo above him, Leo beneath him, behind him, in front of him, bracing him against a wall...

“Why the hell am I so horny?” Guang Hong wondered aloud, laughing as soon as the words left his mouth.

“You’re building up a tolerance! I told you this was quality shit,” Keung said. He started to get up. “I’ll just leave you guys to it.” 

Leo’s face was approaching the same auburn shade of his hair, and his ears were so red that Guang Hong couldn’t see the dye anymore. 

_ It worked!  _ he thought.  _ It’s clean!  _ “Oh, wait…” Guang Hong started giggling. He didn’t lick Leo. He would remember that.

But Leo wasn’t laughing.  “I fucked up,” he said, shaking his head so fast it made Guang Hong dizzy. “I  _ really _ fucked up. I ruined everything.”

Guang Hong sprang into action, straddling Leo’s legs and stroking his cheek. He must have been upset about Phillip, and Guang Hong would do anything to make it better. “It’s okay, Leo. You’re going to be okay. I can help you win him back!”

Leo’s eyes went wide with horror and Guang Hong realized there was a chance that he, too, had fucked up.

“I don’t want—you shouldn’t do that!” Leo stammered. His breathing quickened, shallower by the second. “I just need a minute to think.”

Somehow, something possessed Guang Hong to get off of him and stand up. “Okay! I’ll get you some water.”

But Guang Hong’s legs were full of lead and he forgot where the kitchen was. Where were they, anyway?

“Oh, shit, it was too much for you guys,” Keung said, even though no one was paying attention to him. “I woke the beast within. The beast with two backs. You weren’t ready.” 

Guang Hong wasn’t sure how, but he found a bottle of water and uncapped it, trickling some into Leo’s mouth. Leo swallowed, a few drops trailing down his chin and tugging at Guang Hong’s gut. 

“Please don’t hate me,” Leo whispered, lifting a hand to brush Guang Hong’s bangs aside.

“Never.” Guang Hong took his hand. “How could I hate the man I love?”

“Oh my god, if you guys don’t remember this, I’m going to die,” Keung groaned. 

No, actually, Guang Hong was going to die, for real this time. Probably. Or maybe he was just going to fall asleep. Leo welcomed him into the warmth of his lap, stroking his hair and whispering something important. Something Guang Hong was sure to remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shotgunning and ear licking and yeah, it was time to raise the rating. Thanks so much for reading!


End file.
